Hope Fades, Reality Sets In

Barrack Obama is a smart guy. With a throng of hero-worshipping liberals, the Hollyweird elite and the leftist media whipped into a frenzy, he chose an overall message of personal responsibility to center his inauguration speech around.

That gives me some hope. Hope that President Obama is more centered and has a firmer grip on reality than many of his most avid supporters, who think he's going to waive a magic wand and cure all of our individual and collective woes. These are the same people who will likely be the first to turn on him when he doesn't support their pet projects with equal fervor.

I'm hoping that Obama is successful as a President and helps bring our two parties together, as partisanship is slowly killing this nation. Of course, I'm very skeptical but I have to believe that he didn't honestly think he was going to be able to live up to all of his campaign promises, many of which would face vigorous opposition from conservatives.

He has a Democratic House and Senate to help him push his agenda. The only thing left to wonder is whether he will use them to push the country to the far left or whether he is willing to truly be a consensus builder as he promised.

My biggest hope though is that he keeps us safe and defends our great nation with vigilance equal to that of President Bush. I'm not convinced that he can, but I hope that he does.

Good luck Mr. President!

My Final Pre-Inaugural Purchase

Since the Dems are coming tomorrow with full control of the House, Senate and Oval Office, I figured I couldn't afford not to make one last firearms purchase before guns "start coming under fire (pun intended)".

While I think Obama has a lot more on his plate to worry about, I'd be shocked if we don't see huge tax increases for guns/ammo in the immediate future.

This Remington 870 Express 12 ga shotgun should pretty much fill my arsenal. I'm looking forward to hunting turkey with it next year.

I may have also "jumped the gun (pun intended)" on my "NRA member by 45" prediction. I've already filled out the paperwork!

Pittsburgh Penguins Give Bebis Final Birthday Present!

Bebis and I attended our annual Pens-Rangers game this afternoon for her birthday. As usual, the Pens sent her home happy with a 3-0 victory. I swear she is a Ranger jinx as she roots for her hometown Pens! That coupled with the Steelers win over the Ravens really made her day!

And while she was away, her sisters made some interesting snow art. That post will follow.

Family Feud 2: Electric Bugaloo

Well, Tay has done it again.

Just to summarize, Tay and I play a game while we watch Family Feud. We both try to guess the number 1 answers for the first four rounds. One point is given for the number 1 answer, ties get 1/2 point and if neither of us gets the number 1, a 1/2 point is given to the highest ranked answer between us.

Many of you enjoyed my last story of a miracle victory, here is the latest incantation.

I go up quickly 1-0 as I nail the first answer. Tay takes a half point in Round 2. In Round 3, we both give the same #1 answer, so the score stands at Bluey 1.5, Tay 1 with one last round coming up.

I start to tease her.

"You know all I have to do now is to wait for you to start saying something and just say the same thing and take the win..."

"That's what you ALWAYS do!"

"Now, who's being a sore loser? I'm just kidding...it's on like Donkey Kong!"

"We'll see..."

So, the last question is "Name a language that many people must learn for business purposes"

Tay yells out "Spanish!"

I was a little slow on the draw and also yell out Spanish...

It's the #1 answer.

I immediately go on the offensive.

"Well, that's a tie...you lose!"

"I did not you big cheater! I said it first!"

"No you didn't!"

"Did too! You lost fair and square...admit it, admit it!"

I sheepishly concur...I'm a beaten man...

Other answers are given on the show, Chinese and English also were up there #2 and #3 leaving one more answer. I'd pretty much accepted defeat until Tay blurts out...

"I'll give you the win if you get the last answer..."

I immediately answer "French".

Tay says, "That answer has already been given"

"No, it hasn't"

Tay goes into full panic mode judging by her eyes...

The #4 answer turns out to be, you guessed it..."French".

"WooHoooooooooo!!! I win!!!! Yes!!!!"

"That doesn't count", counters Tay, "I was only joking".

"What? You were not!"

"I thought that they already gave French, so it doesn't count!"

"No. I admitted that I lost and didn't even beg for a last chance deal. I had accepted the loss until you made the offer and I answered. I won fair and square. You got a little too big for yer britches!"

"Damn!"

So, once again, Bluey snatches victory out of the jaws of defeat!

Will Tay ever learn?

Jersey Boys

We celebrated Bebis' birthday tonight and saw Jersey Boys at the Benedum. All I can say is, wow, what a show!

I never realized that the Four Seasons cranked out so many hits. The girls absolutely loved the high energy of the show and actually knew all the songs (I guess by cultural osmosis). Tay loved it as well.

I would highly recommend this musical. Oh, what a night! (ok, I know, that was pretty bad)

Nobody Goes Full Retard...

I watched Tropic Thunder last night. It was weird but extremely hilarious in spots. It will definitely be one of those cult classics that everyone quotes lines from for years.

The movie is about a bunch of actors making a war movie. Ben Stiller's character, Tugg Speedman, talks about his best role (Simple Jack), that all the awards shows snubbed. He explains how he puts his whole effort into the role, actually feeling retarded after leaving the set most nights. But the movie flops anyway. In comes Robert Downey's character, an Austrailian actor, Kirk Lazarus, with many Academy Award wins who has pigmentation surgery to play an African-American platoon sargeant in the film, to offer his sage advice for playing "slow" individuals on film.


Kirk Lazarus: Everybody knows you never go full retard.



Tugg Speedman: What do you mean?



Kirk Lazarus: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho'. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. Peter Sellers, "Being There." Infantile, yes. Retarded, no. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, "I Am Sam." Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed...



The scene from Tropic Thunder just about had me pissing myself (although you need to see the "Simple Jack" trailer in the movie to have a real appreciation for it). This is what got most people upset over the movie for and of course, I find it absolutely hilarious...go figure!

Tay and I finished watching the movie and we were goofing around before going to bed.

I pop a couple of my meds and go to swallow them down and Tay Tay says, "You went Full Retard...You never go Full Retard..."

I started to choke and spit the ice tea in my mouth across the room and my pills all over the floor. I started to laugh so hard it actually hurt my throat.

I'm pretty sure we'll be saying that for awhile around here.

I would recommend the movie for twisted individuals like myself. Tom Cruise nearly stole the movie. He was hilarious, especially dancing to Flo Rida's "Low". I almost pissed myself at that scene too!

Florida Buys Trophy Case For Their Award!

I'm proud to say, I watched not one minute of college football this year and will continue to boycott the sport until a few things happen. I see no point in investing 3 seconds of my time in such a nonsensical and arbitrary contest each year.

Until the NCAA wrestles the scheduling of games away from universities and gives everyone a fair and balanced schedule with an equal number of home and away games, really, what is the point of watching?

Most teams have no chance of winning the BCS title no matter how they perform. College football doesn't have to have a playoff system necessarily (although, it would be great), but it does need to provide each team with a comparable SOS (strength of schedule) to allow each team a legitimate chance and not just pay lip service to their perceived "2nd tier" teams.

They'd be better off cleaving off a whole bunch of these Division I teams, rather then giving them false hope of ever winning a title. And for God's sake, let's maximize natural rivals as much as possible and create some cross continental regular season rivalries as well.

Let's face it, Penn State and Pitt should be playing each other, not Appalachian State or Temple.

So, NCAA...take on the role of schedulemaker already and lose the shitty programs already. Have a Division II league where the top 10 programs in a given year replace the bottom 10 Division I programs to at least mix it up or give a chance to up and coming programs.

Until that happens...I could give a shit.

Happy 14th Birthday, Bebis!

Just want to give my daughter, Bebis a quick shout out.

She turns 14 today. Fourteen...god where do the years go? Her and her buddy Izzy are doing some mad celebrating today.

Another Gem From The Onion!

I almost pissed myself watching this video.

A Major Award!

As part of the spoils of the Bluey's Hail Mary championship, I have donated a travelling trophy to the league to be enjoyed by all future WashPA FFL champions.

Thanks to all for one hell of a season. With five teams vying for the final playoff spot on the last regular season weekend, I think we all gained a real appreciation for just how competitive this league is. This trophy is my tribute to all of you guys.

Engraved on the first 4 detail plates are champions from 2005 (Flavorfools), 2006 (Justice League Now), 2007 (Bird) and 2008 (Hail Mary).

Of course, I am going to enjoy showing it off until draft day, when I will bring the trophy and surrender it to the commissioner.

Then, it'll be on like Donkey Kong!

If you think I'm going to surrender this trophy easily, you obviously don't know me very well.

Bluey's First "Timber!!!"

After relenting and getting me a Stihl Farm Boss for Christmas, Tay has been watching me like a hawk because she knew I wanted to take down a big dead tree now that I had a chainsaw.

She'd tell me, "you don't have a clue what you're doing".

I'd tease her and say, "I watched the lumberjacks on ESPN and a bunch of Axemen episodes. I know how to do it".

Of course, the first tree I wanted to take down was about 10 feet from our garage, which raised Tay's anxiety level even higher. So, as the days passed since Christmas she's been sleeping with one eye and one ear open.

Until today.

I paid the 4 junior peteys $5 each to create a diversion in the house.

While Tay was occupied, I bustled outside, fired up the chainsaw and went to work on the tree. She became wise to the ruse but was too late to stop me.

She grabbed the camera because she was sure I was going to drop the dead tree on the garage and wanted to get evidence for posterity and future bribery.

And the results...Sweet Success!!!

Tay was truly amazed! Although a Downey woodpecker seemed to be giving me the evil eye...

Sweet Creeping Jesus!

I can't even remember how long it has been since my Dolphins made the NFL playoffs. It seems like a whole 'nother lifetime ago.

Granted, there is a good chance that the Baltimore Ravens are going to kick their asses this weekend but give it up for the 'Fins anyway! A solid running game and defense...who'd a thunk they'd finally get wise and go back to what made them good all those years ago. I guess you can call it the "Marino Hangover".

As much as I think Dan was the best quarterback ever in the NFL, he played during a time the Dolphins abandoned the running game and when their defense couldn't stop a pack of girl scouts.

I Must Have Been A Good Boy This Year!

...because Santa brought me just what I wanted for Christmas! In fact, Santa spoiled me rotten this year.

For years I've been asking for the Stihl M290 Farm Boss chainsaw.

"You'll cut your leg off"

Drat, the unholy "you'll cut your (choose the appendage) off" thwarted me for years!

The conversation usually went something like this.

"Tay, we have a lot of fallen and dead trees on the property that need to be cleaned up"

"Yeah, I know"

"Well, if I had my own chainsaw, I could do it lickety split and we'd have more firewood for the wood burner."

"My Dad will come and take care of it. Besides, your a city boy and know nothing about chainsaws. The last thing I need is you cutting your leg off or killing yourself".

"C'mon Tay, your Dad lets me use his chainsaw all the time".

"Yeah, but that's supervised by my Dad and I know you...if you get your own chainsaw, you're going to want to take down trees and that's just way too dangerous. You'll eventually drop a tree on a car or the house god forbid...no you can forget about it!".

"But Tay, I watched the loggers on ESPN. I know how to do it now and I promise that I'll only take down the dead trees".

"Forget it"

...and thus it went as I harped on her for two years...until one day she asked me about chainsaws and I replied...

"I want the Stihl Farm Boss M290 with a side-access chain tensioner, IntelliCarb™ compensating carburetor, built-in winter-summer shutter for cold-weather operation, toolless filter caps and anti-vibration system designed to reduce fatigue."

Uh-oh, much like Ralphie in "A Christmas Story", I overplayed my hand...

"You'll cut your arm off!"

Until this Christmas, after opening all of the presents with the Peteys, Tay called me down to fill the woodburner. I went downstairs and saw Tay sitting down there on top of the woodpile. Sitting next to her, yeah, you guessed it...the Stihl Farm Boss!!!

Yup, I gots the most wonderful wife in the world that spoils me rotten.

Now, I'm off to see if I can lose 40 lbs the easy way!

Sweet Victory!!!

Blueys Hail Mary (15-1) 143, Flashes (13-3) 123.

15 consecutive wins after an opening day loss propelled the Hail Mary to their first WashPA FFL title. Hail Mary coach AJ Duhe raises the Lombardi trophy.

Regular season Co-MVPs: Clinton Portis/Brian Westbrook (~322pts)

Playoff MVP: Dallas Clark (37 pts in semis, 29 pts in Final)

...And Then There Were Two...

The WashPA FFL championship is set as its' two best teams outlasted their Round 1 playoff rivals. Bluey's Hail Mary ended Blicious' dream of an upset 146-102, while the Flashes easily handled the Gridiron Gladiators 186-131.

Bluey's Hail Mary (14-1) takes on Jimbo's Flashes (12-3) this weekend in a matchup for all the marbles and bragging rights for the year.

B and Francois will play a consolation game for third place.

Bluey's Favorite Java!

Okay, so I just started drinking coffee at the tender age of 41.

I can blame Poppinfresh for that, but that's not what this post is about.

It's about the best coffee ever made.

And before you 20 year coffee veterans start snickering to yourself about what an upstart coffee newbie can possibly know about coffee in less than a year, let me explain.

Well, first of all, let me propose my favorite coffee. It's Intelligensia's Zirikana, Rwanda.

And as my Father-in-Law says when he "borrows" my tools, "I'll tell you why..."

Well two reasons really:

Reason #1: Most coffee drinkers are poseurs. They really don't like coffee, they are just looking for a dessert drink like hot chocolate. They spoil the coffee flavors with milk, half and half, sugar, caramel, coffeemate, chocolate...you name it. A real coffee drinker drinks coffee black with nothing added. That's how I drink mine. I feel that to add anything to a cup of coffee takes away your right to provide commentary on coffee flavor. If you add anything, I'd argue that you really don't love coffee in the first place. I don't spoil my coffee with any additives whatsoever and can detect all the minimal nuances between the different brands/locations.

Which leads me to reason #2...

Reason #2: I have an extra sensory perception when it comes to coffee. Not can I only taste the different nuances and flavors between coffees, I can also taste the toils involved in harvesting the crop. I can taste the sweat and tears coming from the 12 year old boy who is forced to work 16 hours in the hot steaming sun picking the beans. I can taste his thirst as he works all day. I can taste the blood left on the beans from his raw hands stemming from his fingernails pulling away from his fingertips or his dried, cracked and brittle cuticles...

In some coffees, I can taste the death involved in the harvest in third world countries.

When I drink their coffee, the deaths and intense labor involved are celebrated, not ignored as it is by 99.8% other coffee drinkers in the world. I salute their efforts to provide me with such a wonderful product that I gladly pay $2.30 a cup for.

It kills me when I see others ruining thier coffee with what I consider "candy and/or whipped cream", as if somehow this cleanses the coffee's true origins and the hardship and pain involved in it's production.

When I see folks open their coffee lids at the "fixins" bar, I feel like that Indian who gets the McDonalds food thrown at my feet by thoughtless litterers.

A tear comes to my eye as I lament the forgotten fallen...as I raise my cup of java and pay my respect to my Rwandan/Nicaraguan/Guatemalan/etceteralan bretheren...

I Stole Your Money, Bitches!

Bernie Madoff, made off with potentially up to $50B in a ponzi scheme because of a few simple reasons.

#1: He had a well known name on Wall Street. People threw their money at him only because he managed so much of it. Don't do any research people, just trust the genius. It's like the run of the lemmings over a cliff. No-one was going to get fired for suggesting that they invest with Madoff because it was perceived to be a "safe choice". Well, with the utter non-transparency of the hedge fund, I don't understand how anyone could have performed the due diligence to make an educated decision on whether to hire him as a manager.

#2: He is Jewish. Right or wrong, it seems like Jews in all walks of life tend to mainly trust, promote or support other Jews to a fault. I guess they figure that a fellow Jew won't let them down. Lots of Jewish folks today are lamenting the loss of their life savings because of this foolish notion. Just because a person shares your background doesn't make them trustworthy. Hopefully, a big lesson will be learned here.

#3: He somehow convinced individuals, trusts and companies to place the majority to all of their funds all in one place (with him). How anyone can consider that a diversification policy is beyond me. Especially after the whole world watched the Enron fiasco. Anyone that put their whole life savings or entire trusts in Madoff's hands got just what they deserve.

Overall, it is very hard for me as a portfolio manager and equities analyst to feel too bad for a lot of folks out there who should have known better. How exactly does one place their life savings in an account in which they can't even see what they hold?

Unbelievable.

Expect his two sons to join him in jail soon. It is almost impossible for me to believe that with their positions they had no idea what was going on. In my position, I know everything my company holds in every account and I don't have a title like Chief Financial Officer.

Those two Madoff boys should be in jail as well, I cannot be convinced that they are innocent. They'd have to be borderline retarded for me to believe they had no knowledge of what Dad was doing. Dad is taking the fall to protect them. Expect them to be incarcerated shortly.

More Brainwashing Attempts By Unions!

This morning while watching the morning news, I saw a thirty second commercial spot villifying Walmart.

On the eve of the auto bailout news, the spot blamed Walmart for American losses of jobs, importation of questionable products from China and a host of other business evils and greed that are ruining US business.

Then I thought to myself...who the hell paid for that ad to basically dress down Walmart?

The answer...the unions...

The fucking evil unions that are ruining this country. The unions that chased steel out of Pittsburgh, the same union that will bankrupt Detroit's auto industry and the same unions that will bilk their members out of money to pay for the corruption of our own government.

Christ...Walmart is one of the few places low to middle income folks can go to, to buy good products at nicely discounted prices. People who have a brain in their head realize that Walmart has a good business plan. Buy in volume at highly discounted prices, sell in volume at low margins and everybody makes out...the company and the consumer.

Unions are offended that Walmart's workers aren't unionized. Therefore, they don't have any power over Walmart. Believe me, that eats into their craw. Let me let you in on a secret. I used to be a member of the Foodworkers Union when I was a young unskilled laborer. Most non management jobs at Walmart aren't supposed to be careers. Walmart doesn't believe in paying unskilled knuckle-draggers (believe me, we were all there at one time!) $20/hr and full medical benefits. Therefore, they can pass savings on to consumers and it is a win-win situation.

Unions don't seem to get that the time for unskilled laborers getting "as much as the unions can hold companies hostage for" is over.

So, what are they doing now? They are wasting their members hard earned cash on a propaganda campaign aimed to try to re-establish their fallacy that they are the only thing standing between "evil corporations who want you to be in poverty" and your personal wealth and happiness. They are using up every possible favor in the Democratic party to get an auto bailout and at best all it seems that they will get is a three month bandaid, which is a colossal waste of money.

Let's face it...this once noble institution of unions is on life support. Their corruption and greed is to blame for their own demise. They used their members dues and political power to wield votes to influence politicians for too many years and the time has come to pay the piper.

That Walmart ad is a sign of desperation. The end is coming.

Thank Jesus!

Lucky 13!

Bluey's Hail Mary (13-1) wrapped up the WashPA FFL regular season title with its' 13th consecutive victory this past weekend, a 163-118 decision over Classy.

Playoff seeds: Blicious (7-7, #4 seed) at Bluey's Hail Mary (13-1, #1 seed)
Gridiron Gladiators (8-6, #3 seed) at Flashes (11-3, #2 seed)

Sloppy Seconds Anyone?

At the risk of upsetting Tay, I'll take a plate of these sloppy seconds in a heartbeat!!!


Apparently, yesterday, NHLer Sean Avery tried to get fellow NHLer Dion Phaneuf off his game by referring to his old girlfriend, actress Elisha Cuthbert, who Phaneuf is currently dating as "his sloppy 2nds".



The NHL is looking into suspending Avery, which is total nonsense.



Dude, I'd take Avery's "sloppy seconds" any day of the week including the aging Alyssa Milano or Rachel Hunter. That guy has dated some smoking hot chicks!


Okay, pig time over...coming honey!!!!!

Bluey's First Bambi!

On Monday, at 42 years of age, I got my first buck. Of course, this was my first buck hunt.

And, no, I won't be putting on any clinics in hunting. Fourteen, yes that's 14 bullets later, I got my buck...

The two bucks I shot at, stood out in the field posing carelessly and were mocking me while I fired 7 shots at each. Neither seemed in a hurry to get going anywhere or had any other pressing engagements.

Or maybe they felt that if they had to have a hunter shooting at them, I was their man!


Well, maybe closing my eyes on the last shot was what did it (I'm kidding) as now I have tons on venison in the freezer!!!

Bluey's Hail Mary 118, Birdmen 80

The Hail Mary won it's 12th in a row (12-1) and now sit perched above the WashPA Fantasy Football League thanks to a Blicious (6-7) upset of the Flashes (11-2).

With only one regular season game remaining vrs Classy, the Mary have the inside track at the #1 seed in the playoffs. Five teams are vying for the two remaining playoff spots in a hotly contested final week.

Big Surprise! Rosie Live Cancelled!

Oops, I guess I'm not going to get a 70's style variety show brought to us by a big fat headed annoying loud-mouthed liberal...

Jeez, her show was cancelled after one show? I'm actually surprised it went that long. I guess they couldn't find a hook big enough to get her fat ass off the stage.

I guess The View, with her other retarded accomplices turned out to be the best of what's left for her. Maybe Bawbwa Wawa and Whoopdi Fuckin' Doo can find it in their hearts to take her back. I wouldn't hold my breath on that one either.

The death of a career doesn't smell like teen spirit, it smells like rotting water buffalo.

Bluey's Hail Mary 162, Grid Iron Gladiators 73.

The Hail Mary (11-1) won its' 11th straight game over Francois' 3rd place Gladiators this past weekend. In a preview of a potential 1st round playoff matchup, the Gladiators apparently decided not to show too much of its' hand in a fairly meaningless contest.

Up next: The Birdmen of Alcatraz

"Hello...This is Chives at the Disney Center"

I am a very mean man and a horrible father. According to my daughters anyway, after they fell victim to one of my latest pranks.



You see, we just got back from a Disney cruise. We got two staterooms. One for Tay and I and one for our four daughters. A Disney cruise for teens and pre-teens pretty much means they can stay up as late as they want enjoying their separate areas and activities.



Unfortunately, this means lots of sleeping in on mornings where we have excursions.



But I'm getting ahead of myself. For the past year or so that we had this cruise scheduled, the girls have been waiting anxiously for it to come. They crafted stories imagining what the cruise would be like and how wonderful it would be to be waited on hand and foot by some mythical person named "Chives", who would service their every need.



Needless to say the girls ordered room service the first hour on the ship.



So, after realizing that getting them all on the same page on our first day was such a hassle, I went to work on crafting a plan to get them hopping and on time to the multitude of events we planned.

About an hour before our first dinner at Triton's our girls received a phone call. It was a gentleman with a british/austrailian accent.

"Hello...yes, this is Chives at the Disney Center. I just wanted to remind you that you are scheduled for a 5:30 dinner at Tritons. The dress is more formal than the usually accustomed casual dining. Please be on time, so we can get everyone seated for an elegant dining experience!"

45 minutes later, 3 of the 4 girls are at the door ready to go and talking about some "guy named Chives at the Disney Center" who called them.

Well it turns out that Chives also made wakeup calls, reminder calls etc... for the rest of the trip. Sometimes he called himself Charles, sometimes Chaz but also Chives. The girls had an impeccable record for being on time whenever he called and they really looked forward to his calls. I told them that he had also been calling our room but that I had "told the jerk off and to stop bothering Tay and I with incessant calls". They were disappointed in me and you could tell that they were forming a real bond with Chives. All of the girls got to talk to him at least twice during the trip.

And even though they never listened to me, when Chives talked, Peteys listened.

Until the last night. When the girls were annoying us by prank calling our room. After the third time, they called and were immediately greeted by Chives.

"Chives at the Disney center, can I help you?"

click....

Another call. "Chives at the Disney center, can I help you?"

click...

Another call. "Chives at the Disney center, can I help you?"

"Um...yes, I'm trying to reach my parents but the call isn't going through"

"Is this Ms. Aussie?

"Um...yes"

"Well, it seems that your parents have asked me to put a block on the line. They were receiving prank calls. Is there anything I can help you with?

"Um...no...thank you"

About 5 seconds later the girls come storming in the room. I figured the jig was up and that they had figured out my clever ruse.

Aussie accuses me of putting a block on the phone line.

"What? No I didn't"

"Yes you did you liar. I spoke with Chives and he told me that you did!"

"Did he sound anything like this?.....Hello, this is Chives of the Disney center, can I help you?"

The girls jaws dropped.

"You're Chives?!!!!!"

"Yup. I have been the whole cruise!"

"We're going to kill you! You woke us up every morning and called us 5 times a day reminding us of things"

"Yeah, it's funny how you guys were on time to everything AFTER Chives was put on the job"

"I hate you, Dad" (in unison)

"Yeah...but I love you!"

Chives...one of my best creations ever.

NFL Rape: Bluey's Hail Mary 125, ProDonor 122.

NFL officials' refusal to award Steeler Troy Polamalu with a TD as time expired this week, cost ProDonor a stunning upset victory over the Hail Mary (10-1).

The Romo-led Mary was able to eek out a victory and remains in a first place tie with the Flashes (10-1). Next up are Francois' third place Grid Iron Gladiators (7-4).

Can Romo Take Hail Mary To The Promised Land?

After a broken pinkie sidelined Flavorfool QB Tony Romo for 4 weeks, Bluey's Hail Mary GM, AJ Duhe, made a bold move. He packaged super rookie RB Chris Johnson along with QBs Eli Manning and Matt Ryan in an effort to secure Romo's services for the final stretch of the season.

After 4 weeks of sitting on the bench watching incumbent QB Bret Favre amass a 9-1 record, we'll find out if Tony Romo can step in and help the Hail Mary win its' first WashPA chmpionship.

"After last year's 9-5 playoff miss, I didn't think we could afford to sit on our hands", said an optimistic Duhe. "It's going to take a hell of an effort to bring this trophy home and we feel that Romo gives us the best opportunity to do so". There has been no official word on whether Jessica Simpson will be allowed to attend Mary games.

Slagathor

Scrubs is my favorite TV sitcom, probably of all time. One of my favorite scenes in the show involves heartless Chief of Medicine, Bob Kelso, addressing the interns with poor Debbie the intern getting caught in the crossfire.

Of course, now I call all my girls Slagathor from time to time!

Enjoy! Thank Jesus for YouTube!

Hail Mary Win 9th In A Row!

Bluey's Hail Mary (8-1) 113, Birdmen of Alcatraz 32.

Bluey's Hail Mary (9-1) 129, Flavorfools 84.

The Hail Mary remain in a first place tie with the expansion Flashes (9-1), with seemingly a big playoff showdown in the cards, provided both teams survive the first round. The Hail Mary improve their lifetime WashPA FFL record to 18-6.

Congrats to the Democrats!

You've got your man elected and have a House and Senate majority. Now let's see what comes of it. So far, the democratic House and Senate has been a big disappointment, but now they'll have President Obama to work with.

What the Democrats do with this overwhelming power will speak volumes as to what the Democratic party is about. Obama made many, many promises.

I'm actually interested to see what the outcome will be. A little scared, mind you, but riveted nonetheless.

And, I would seriously recommend to anyone that voting by absentee ballot and being out of the country on a cruise during an election day is definitely the way to go!

Evil Oil Companies?

"If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." Friedrich Nietzsche

I get so tired of folks that are too lazy to think things through, making sweeping nonsensical arguments about what is wrong with America.

One popular argument is that evil oil companies are destroying our economy and taking advantage of us all. Usually Exxon-Mobil (XOM) is cited as the biggest offender, raking in windfall profits and bilking us out of millions of dollars!

Did you ever think to wonder who owns Exxon-Mobil (XOM)? Some consortium of oil barons who sit on OPEC boards? Darth Vader himself?

Obviously, since the government doesn't spend enough money, a windfall tax on XOM makes perfect sense. The government can "steal" that money from the rich and spread it around to the rest of us or spend it on things we need, right?

No...pretty much the American public owns XOM. 51% of XOM is owned by institutional mutual funds that pretty much every American owns in their 401Ks and individual retirement accounts. The other 49% is held by investors that hold individual shares of XOM in brokerage accounts.

Exxon executives and insiders cumulatively own closer to 0% of the company than 1%. No one individual investor owns greater than .02% of the company. The largest institutuional owners include noted mutual funds Vanguard and such and also various ETF's and Spyders that are popular investment vehicles for retirement accounts.

If you look at a chart of XOM, you see that investors get a very modest 2.1% cash dividend ($1.60 per year for each share) and the stock price movement is very boring when compared to something like Google. For many years, the stock didn't move at all until it's recent swing up and now it's falling back down. Let's face it, nobody is making a fortune recommending a very boring XOM stock.

So, who is the evil oil company? We are....

Us who have bought mutual funds to save for our retirement over the years. If you look in your portfolio, I can almost guarantee that you own some XOM somewhere. Lots of pension funds own plenty of XOM as well.

So then, who exactly will benefit from the XOM stock price finally moving from $50 to $90 (it's currently at $73) after not really budging for years. Do us investors get it?

Not if government has it's way with windfall taxes on these companies. Government will try to steal our money and use a clever ruse to "blame evil oil companies". Oh, it sounds good as we fill our gas tanks with $4 gasoline. But lo and behold we look into the abyss and realize that the abyss is us...

Oil companies have small profit margins at 10% or less. Google has a profit margin near 30%. But government doesn't consider enacting windfall taxes on them.

Government thinks you are too stupid to realize this.

Are you?

Bluey's Hail Mary 195, Blicious 90.

The Hail Mary continue to roll with its' 7th consecutive win (7-1) and maintain a first place tie atop the standings with the Flashes.

The week was a group effort with almost the entire roster ringing up 20+ points apiece. Next up on the schedule are the Birdmen of Alcatraz.

NY Rangers 4, NY Islanders 2.

The NY Rangers whooped the Gorton fishermen's ass last night to post their ninth win in October!

I just have one other comment to make about it.

1984! Losers!

Scariest Halloween Costume: Obama-Man

If nothing else, I've got to admit that Obama-Man is teflon. Nothing seems to stick to him and he seems impervious to any criticism.

No US birth certificate....no problem.
Disturbing set of friends, mentors and associates...nope.
Socialist ideology to "redistribute wealth"...it's all good.
A trillion dollars in new spending...so what.
No tangible experience...it's ok, we hope for a change!

Every other superhero seemed to have moments when the public questioned their motives or "goodness". Obama-Man gets nothing but love from the masses save a few annoying conservatives.

Abraham Lincoln once said "You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time."

Unfortunately, being able to fool some of the people (democrats) all of the time can be enough to get this guy elected as our next president.

My guess is that if he is elected, after he serves four painful years, there is a good chance that democrats won't get another sniff at a presidency for another 16 years or so. This guy is going to tax us into a depression and leave this country's defense department (he's advocating a 25% reduction!) devastated and that will be that.

Make sure your jobs are secure or you may find yourself the recipient of one of his "tax rebates"...er....I guess you can't call it a rebate if you pay no taxes...um....welfare? I'm not going out on a limb to suggest double digit unemployment will be the result of his tax plan.

Americans have a week left to find out what this guy is about. And he's not offering many answers because he's too busy enjoying being so enamoured. Hell, he's the unanimous pick of Hollywood and the UN! Does that tell you anything?

Shame on you, Americans!

Grand Larceny in Shootout!

Great article in Hockey Buzz on Saturday's Pens-Rangers game.

Just wanted to rub the Ranger victory in to all my Penguin loving friends.

You guys choked! Hahahahahahahhhaahahaha!!!

Well, I wonder what the clueless naysaying cock-knocker, NY Post columnist Larry Brooks has to say now about the Rangers. He's been pissing on this team since last season ended.

Larry lamented the non-signing of Sundin, Jagr, Shanahan et al ad nauseum.

I've been saying for years, play the rookies, play the rookies and play the rookies....they are very good.

The Rangers are finally prescribing to my theory to huge success...it's about fucking time!

Let's Finish Carving The Pumpkin!

Let's see.....

...a letter F....and a letter L...

What does it say?....

B...F....L....

Big Fat Liar!!!!

What a jackass! People like this woman deserve what they get.

Absolutely sickening...

Maybe we should force her to be Obama's intern if he wins...

Why Couldn't The Dems Recruit Colin Powell Earlier?

I tell you what. If the Democrats wanted my vote, they would have put General Colin Powell up for President, not simply for an endorsement. I would have easily voted for him.

Oh, wait...General Powell would have never gone for all the other crazy platforms that the Democrats support. There's the difference. He's good enough for an endorsement but wasn't good enough for any support from the liberal left or African Americans when he held Condi Rice's post in Bush's first administration.

I've always admired General Powell, as I do Condi Rice and will continue to do so. It's a shame that it took his political capital to make him worth something to liberals instead of the merits of his experience.

Sure, I'm disappointed that he chose to endorse a supremely underqualified candidate to be the next President of the United States, but I'm not surprised given his limited support of both wars in the first place. I'm also sure that Obama's people have promised him a prominent post in an Obama presidency for his support. I really can't blame the guy but hopefully he realizes that this is the party that never supported him through his ascendancy to the position in the world that he enjoys today.

And they'll be quicker to cut bait on him the minute it suits them to do so...

Right now, he's helping offset the Biden talk of America being attacked during the first 6 months of an Obama presidency. Honestly, don't the Dems write Joe's speeches? Wire that guy up with a shock collar already!

First Place!

Bluey's Hail Mary (6-1) bested former WashPA first place team, Flashes, 142-127 in a battle of the titans this past weekend.

Clinton Portis, Calvin Johnson and newly acquired Ryan Grant led the way to victory in this much anticipated matchup.

Both teams sit on top of the standings with identical 6-1 records. Next up for the Hail Mary is Blicious.

My Newest Purchase!

I went out and purchased another gun, a Remington 770 .270 caliber rifle. Also picked up enough .270 WIN rounds to hold off the federales if they try to take my land by force or if Obama sends government agents to quantify my carbon tax under some new crazy green scheme to tax my mowing activity. It should also be useful for deterring boyfriends from getting too handsy and should also blow a raccoon to unrecognizable bits.

I was test firing it the other day and it is a cannon! I'm going to have to wear ear plugs when I fire those 130 grain rounds. It puts huge holes in things! Yeah baby!

"Western PA Filled With Racists"- John Murtha

John, you are one motherfucking stupid honkey!!!.....

Oops, i guess you're right....

Honestly, can there be a more clueless asshole out there serving our country? Hmmmm.... Pelosi, Frank, Reid...pretty close....

God help this country if these people get a president to rubber stamp their nonsense!

Mr. Met Whacks Heilmann and Schoenweiss!

Notoriously underperforming NY Met relief pitchers, Aaron Heilmann and Scott Schoenweiss got their official releases today in the form of a savage deadly beating by fan favorite Mr. Met, the team mascot.

After watching countless games in which the two stooges surrendered late inning leads, Mr. Met got some blessed retribution today as the pair were in to clean out their lockers.

As GM Omar Minaya watched, Mr. Met laid the lumber on both players, beating each to an unrecognizable pulp of flesh, bone and sinew. Ballpark maintenance crews reported the blood spray extended all the way to the 17th row of seats with some brain matter reaching as high as row six.

As it turns out, it was easier to have the pair whacked to salvage some salary space rather than placing the players through waivers. "I just wanted to send the team a message for the 2009 season", a determined Minaya quipped.

The pair will be taken to the brand new Citi Field and buried beneath the urinals, so that fans can remember them everytime they "relieve" themselves.

Bluey's Hail Mary 149, Brio 90.

The Hail Mary have finally slain the Brio beast to the tune of a 59 point victory! The 5-1 Hail Mary surge past Brio (4-2) into second place.

Usual suspects, Clinton Portis and Roddy White carried the day again.

This week's matchup pits WashPA's #1 team, Flashes (6-0) against its' #2 Hail Mary!

Fall Pilgrimage 2008

(props to Irish for the picture)

The Fall 2008 pilgrimage can be best summed up by this picture. Just a bunch of guys enjoying 70+ degree weather in the middle of October!

With Lake Erie as as backdrop, we drank some brews and played a Cornhole tournament (Jimmy P and the Handyman took the title, going undefeated at 3-0).

We also renewed the Genius/Tard rivalry in softball with SRU besting a severely depleted Genius squad 14-9. The Tards performed well in the clutch scoring their five go ahead runs in the last inning breaking the 9-9 tie. Quite an offensive display including an impressive moonshot HR by the Handyman at a crucial juncture in the game. Choder picked up the win on the mound.

We celebrated Paul Newman's life by watching Slapshot and later in the evening Meersky used Newman's Own salad dresing to moisturize his chapped lips after licking them to dryness during the Newman bedroom scene with the topless "A Christmas Story" mom. We also watched Ironman as well.

Several games of Ca$h and Gun$ were played to hilarious fruition with Poppinfresh, Bluey, Francois, Irish, Choder and Handyman putting their mad gangsta skilz to the test. Francois, HandyMan and Yags played a marathon Magic session and Irish again took home the Stones title with no Conor there to challenge him. Unfortunately, the Pilgrimage Jeopardy game wouldn't load so I guess we'll save it for the spring.

Other highlights include Meersky bartending with his awesome whiskey sours, Habib got as drunk as I have ever seen him on Thursday night and was hilarious, the return of Bluey's special sauce, Stebie sending Tracer to a guys only pilgrimage by herself for babysitting while he spanked off backstage at a Joe Satriani concert and Officer Mehoff made his triumphant return from Afghanistan.

All in all, lots of fun as usual...see you in the spring!

The Fall Pilgrimage - Thursday Night

The weather is supposed to be in the mid 70's. It looks like were going to get some perfect pilgrimage conditions.

Bluey, Habib, Meersky, Irish and the Handyman are in the house...

Tracer, Poppinfresh and Erie are MIA, ...I'm guessing threesome!

The tomato water was made last night and is just waiting to sicken pilgrimage goers....

The Stock Market

Curse Poppinfresh for dragging me into this god-forsaken business!!!

Nah....

While admittedly the recent pain has been hard to stomach, I think we've done as good of a job as we could reasonably expect.

So, nobody has to call us to find out if we're still alive. I did have to talk Poppinfresh and Francois off the ledge earlier this week, but I think we're okay now.

Just wanted to share this hilarious parody of our favorite magazine "The Economist". Yes, I do wish this cover was real!

All I have to say is thank god I'm relatively young, nowhere near retirement age, haven't recently purchased a home and live fairly simply.

Maybe it's time to increase my chicken flock though!

Bluey's Hail Mary 140, Classy 115.

The Hail Mary squad bettered its' record to 4-1 with a solid win over Classy this past weekend. Eli Manning stepped in for Bret Favre and led the Mary to its' fourth consecutive win.

Clinton Portis and Roddy White both posted 30+ point games to round out the scoring. The Hail Mary gets its' chief nemesis Brio next week. The Mary is 0-3 historically versus Brio.

Are The French Retarded?

...or has this become the way we deal with rogue nations in the world today?

Oh, I just can't wait until Obama is president. Then we won't have to use France as a go between to Iran and we can just provide nuclear power to Venezuela and Iran in return for their promise not to use it to make weapons.

Honestly, does anybody ever wonder why such huge oil producing nations need nuclear power when they have all the cheap energy they can possibly want? uh-duhhhhh...

Hail Mary Rides Favre's Arm To Another Victory!

Brett Favre exploded for 6 TD passes and 50 points as Bluey's Hail Mary devastated DyNasty 153-119 in their Week 4 WashPA FFL contest.

Favre exploited the weak defense as many Hail Mary starters were lost to injury (Colston, Westbrook) or bye week (Cal Johnson, Gonzales and Clark).

The Hail Mary (3-1) moves on to play Classy in a showdown of disgruntled NY Mets fans team owners.

By the way....the Mets suck!!!! Please somebody kill Aaron Heilman and Scott Schoenweiss in the offseason and dump Alou, Wagner, Martinez, Castillo, and Castro. Also, trade Delgado while you can get something for him. Basically, keep Reyes, Wright, Beltran, Schneider, Santana, Pelfrey, Maine, Joe Smith, and take a wrecking ball to the rest. From what I understand the Mets have alot of salary expiring this year. They should take advantage of it.

Baaawhoooo-gaaaa!!!

Dumbass greedy investment bankers and brokers! The shit has hit the fan and the pigeons are finally coming home to roost. The FBI is finally getting off its' dumb ass and starting to investigate at FNM, FRE, AIG and others.

Let's get some of these fuckers in jail by Christmas, please! It won't solve things, no....but I'd feel a whole lot better having to suffer the consequences of their nonsense! People, brace yourselves...it looks like we're in for a long haul....

Oh....Beee-licious!!!!!

Bret Favre's touchdown toss in the final few minutes propelled Bluey's Hail Mary to a 114-113 victory over Aaron Rodgers and his Blicious squad.

An intercepted 2 pt conversion pass (-3 points) was called back on a Blicious penalty insuring the victory. Favre was then pulled to preserve the win.

The Hail Mary (2-1) play DyNasty next...

How PETA Sees Women

In what has to be one of the oddest things I've ever seen from the PETA nuts, the group is now fighting against the horrors of American dairy cows by suggesting that we substitute it with human breast milk!

PETA has targeted Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream in a letter that can only be construed as a ploy to "identify and expose the abuse experienced by dairy cows".

So, they suggest a natural and healthy alternative to evil cow's milk. Human women can be milked for the food source. Now, I'm lactose intolerant, so maybe it's about time that I cozied back up to the breast bar where it all started for a little snackity snack...yummy!

I tell ya....PETA trots out nakie women, PETA tries to give me more access to the boobies,....PETA is getting real close to converting me into their doctrine.