"Hello...This is Chives at the Disney Center"

I am a very mean man and a horrible father. According to my daughters anyway, after they fell victim to one of my latest pranks.



You see, we just got back from a Disney cruise. We got two staterooms. One for Tay and I and one for our four daughters. A Disney cruise for teens and pre-teens pretty much means they can stay up as late as they want enjoying their separate areas and activities.



Unfortunately, this means lots of sleeping in on mornings where we have excursions.



But I'm getting ahead of myself. For the past year or so that we had this cruise scheduled, the girls have been waiting anxiously for it to come. They crafted stories imagining what the cruise would be like and how wonderful it would be to be waited on hand and foot by some mythical person named "Chives", who would service their every need.



Needless to say the girls ordered room service the first hour on the ship.



So, after realizing that getting them all on the same page on our first day was such a hassle, I went to work on crafting a plan to get them hopping and on time to the multitude of events we planned.

About an hour before our first dinner at Triton's our girls received a phone call. It was a gentleman with a british/austrailian accent.

"Hello...yes, this is Chives at the Disney Center. I just wanted to remind you that you are scheduled for a 5:30 dinner at Tritons. The dress is more formal than the usually accustomed casual dining. Please be on time, so we can get everyone seated for an elegant dining experience!"

45 minutes later, 3 of the 4 girls are at the door ready to go and talking about some "guy named Chives at the Disney Center" who called them.

Well it turns out that Chives also made wakeup calls, reminder calls etc... for the rest of the trip. Sometimes he called himself Charles, sometimes Chaz but also Chives. The girls had an impeccable record for being on time whenever he called and they really looked forward to his calls. I told them that he had also been calling our room but that I had "told the jerk off and to stop bothering Tay and I with incessant calls". They were disappointed in me and you could tell that they were forming a real bond with Chives. All of the girls got to talk to him at least twice during the trip.

And even though they never listened to me, when Chives talked, Peteys listened.

Until the last night. When the girls were annoying us by prank calling our room. After the third time, they called and were immediately greeted by Chives.

"Chives at the Disney center, can I help you?"

click....

Another call. "Chives at the Disney center, can I help you?"

click...

Another call. "Chives at the Disney center, can I help you?"

"Um...yes, I'm trying to reach my parents but the call isn't going through"

"Is this Ms. Aussie?

"Um...yes"

"Well, it seems that your parents have asked me to put a block on the line. They were receiving prank calls. Is there anything I can help you with?

"Um...no...thank you"

About 5 seconds later the girls come storming in the room. I figured the jig was up and that they had figured out my clever ruse.

Aussie accuses me of putting a block on the phone line.

"What? No I didn't"

"Yes you did you liar. I spoke with Chives and he told me that you did!"

"Did he sound anything like this?.....Hello, this is Chives of the Disney center, can I help you?"

The girls jaws dropped.

"You're Chives?!!!!!"

"Yup. I have been the whole cruise!"

"We're going to kill you! You woke us up every morning and called us 5 times a day reminding us of things"

"Yeah, it's funny how you guys were on time to everything AFTER Chives was put on the job"

"I hate you, Dad" (in unison)

"Yeah...but I love you!"

Chives...one of my best creations ever.