Pissing On Jesus Is Funny?

I'm sorry but I fail to find humor in Larry David pissing on a painting of Jesus in a recent episode of HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm.

I guess it's not enough that christians have to suffer attack after attack by whiny bitches that are offended by the faith that helped build the laws and principals that built this nation, but now we're supposed to find humor in its' offense?

Is there any particular reason why Mr. David didn't choose to piss on Mohammed instead? Because christians are an easy target and are not likely to cut his fucking head off with a chainsaw, that's why!

Well, this christian is done turning the other cheek. Fuck you, Mr. David, you douchebag and self loathing Jew. You are a disgrace to your religion and are a horrible human being. Maybe Roman Polanski will get bored one day and him and Woody Allen can violently ass rape you.

That would be a hilarious idea for a future episode. Well, maybe not, but funnier than pissing on Jesus in my book. What a dick!


My Endoscopy and Colonoscopy

About ten years ago, I was suffering from pretty consistent heartburn and digestive issues. My doctor ordered an endoscopy (stomach) and colonoscopy (colon) in order to see if I had damage or anything out of the ordinary going on. This is the procedure where they feed a flexible tube with a camera at the tip into the respective areas. They suspected at the very least, that I had a stomach ulcer.

If drinking a gallon of gag inducing liquid fiberglass the night before to clean my intestines out wasn't bad enough, the peppermint numbing agent they lined my throat with still has me avoiding anything with that flavor like the plague. Try coming hard at me with a candy cane and there's a pretty good chance you'll be doing is pulling the thing out of your rectum.

Anyway, I'm laying on the table, drifting off to sleep in a Valium induced haze and the last thing I feel is the nice ultra warm blanket they drape over me. As my vision is getting hazy, the last thing I see is my doctor pulling the camera scope from its' sterile packaging. I mumble something and drift off ...

A few hours later I wake up in a recovery room and the nurse gets my doctor. I ask him how everything went and he says okay and gives me a clean bill of health. They find nothing out of the ordinary. Then, my doctor starts to chuckle.

"What?", I said.

"Do you remember what you told me right before you drifted off to sleep?"

"No, Doc...I don't"

"You told me to do your stomach first. Like we were really going to use the same scope to do both procedures.", he continues laughing.

"I don't remember that at all"

"Well, it definitely made our day. We laughed through the whole procedure"

"And did you do the stomach first?"

"What do you think?"

"I don't know. All I can taste is this goddamn peppermint!"

He walks away laughing. He never did answer my question.


Obama Clinches 2010 Nobel Peace Prize!

President Obama's selfless act of helping a child blow the seeds off a dandelion has secured him a second consecutive Nobel Peace prize, observers conclude.

"I can't imagine anyone doing more to eclipse this grand gesture in 2010", says panel of five Norwegian socialists, who award the yearly prize.

We may have a dynasty on our hands!


Congrats to Cali and LiLi!

Our family couldn't be happier for the early arrival of Alexandra yesterday!

Cali and LiLi were expecting a Halloween delivery but were most pleasantly surprised by getting their "sweets" early!

Allie is a little cutie pie and is sure to be a real heartbreaker.

Bluey's World extends a sneak peak and wishes your new family all of our best.

The Peteys and I are looking forward to lots of babysitting and if you're not careful, we might indoctrinate her as the newest Petey!


Nice Visitor!

We usually have two young twin "spike" bucks that frolic around our property as if they own it. We see them almost every single day.

Our game cam, which monitors basically chicken predators in the coop area, caught this image earlier this morning.

This is the first bigger buck that I've seen so close to the house.

At this rate I might be doing my deer hunting out of my bedroom window!

Then, maybe it won't take me 14 shots like last year!


Our First Homegrown Chicken Dinner!

The Peteys and I enjoyed our first free ranged chicken meal. The chicken was tender and tasty. We all agree that the chicken tasted as good or better than any chicken we've ever had. I was very pleasantly surprised after hearing many stories about tough and less than tasty home butchered birds.

Our bird, a 25 week old Buff Orpington rooster tasted absolutely wonderful. I can't say enough also about our family making another small step towards our ability to live self sufficiently.

The girls raved about the flavor. Even Kitty, our youngest daughter, who had initial reservations about eating a bird we raised, helped pick the bird clean. I think she liked it the best.

Special thanks to Tay and Aussie, who helped prepare such a wonderful meal and thanks to Buffy, the rooster, who lived 25 weeks as a "cage free" free range bird for providing the tasty entree. Even though butchering your own food sounds unpleasant, it's nice to know that one less bird in the world had to be caged to provide our family of six with a meal.

We plan on continuing to raise a few birds next year as well, hens for eggs and roos for meat.


Our First Processed Chicken

Tay and I processed our first chicken today. We have 2 extra young roosters, so we thought we'd try our hand at producing our own roaster. Our largest Buff Orpington rooster will provide Tuesday's dinner with our girls!

I spared you guys any real graphic photos. Overall, It went very well and we are excited to taste the fruits of our labors. Plucking turned out to be extremely simple after dipping the chicken in 150 degree water a few quick dunks. Eviscerating it turned out to be rather simple as well. If the bird ends up tasting good, I can see us processing more birds in the future.

Since our birds truly free range, there's a chance the meat won't be as tender as caged birds, but worse comes to worse, we just make soup in the future. I'm just glad to have the chickens and enjoy them having free reign on the property. They are very relaxing to watch and the eggs the hens provide are the best! Now, if the rooster roast turns out to be a winner, I think we'll have full utilization of a chicken flock and teach our children a good lesson in providing the simpler basics of life for ourselves.

I'll update with pictures of Tuesday's dinner with the girls!


Zombieland: "Nut Up Or Shut UP"

Tay and I went to see Zombieland tonight. I give it two enthusiastic thumbs up. It is exactly what it promises, one night of good time zombie slaying fun.

This movie was either going to be real funny or it was going to be atrocious. Woody Harrelson and cast does not disappoint.

I encourage you to see it and remember the mantra you little spitfuck, "either nut up or shut up!". Well worth the price of admission.


Does anybody else see the irony of David "the hasbeen" Letterman calling Sarah Palin's look one of a "slutty flight attendant", now that he has been busted having several sexual relationships with some of his female staffers?
Perhaps, Mr. Letterman sees all the world's women as being slutty flight attendants? What a hypocritical scumbag. I hope his wife divorces him and takes all his money!
Of course, Sarah Palin is much too classy to weigh in on this one, but I'll do it for her.

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