About ten years ago, I was suffering from pretty consistent heartburn and digestive issues. My doctor ordered an endoscopy (stomach) and colonoscopy (colon) in order to see if I had damage or anything out of the ordinary going on. This is the procedure where they feed a flexible tube with a camera at the tip into the respective areas. They suspected at the very least, that I had a stomach ulcer.If drinking a gallon of gag inducing liquid fiberglass the night before to clean my intestines out wasn't bad enough, the peppermint numbing agent they lined my throat with still has me avoiding anything with that flavor like the plague. Try coming hard at me with a candy cane and there's a pretty good chance you'll be doing is pulling the thing out of your rectum.
Anyway, I'm laying on the table, drifting off to sleep in a Valium induced haze and the last thing I feel is the nice ultra warm blanket they drape over me. As my vision is getting hazy, the last thing I see is my doctor pulling the camera scope from its' sterile packaging. I mumble something and drift off ...
A few hours later I wake up in a recovery room and the nurse gets my doctor. I ask him how everything went and he says okay and gives me a clean bill of health. They find nothing out of the ordinary. Then, my doctor starts to chuckle.
"What?", I said.
"Do you remember what you told me right before you drifted off to sleep?"
"No, Doc...I don't"
"You told me to do your stomach first. Like we were really going to use the same scope to do both procedures.", he continues laughing.
"I don't remember that at all"
"Well, it definitely made our day. We laughed through the whole procedure"
"And did you do the stomach first?"
"What do you think?"
"I don't know. All I can taste is this goddamn peppermint!"
He walks away laughing. He never did answer my question.
1 comment:
SO glad you finally put this down for all eternity. You had me lmao up in NY when you told this story!
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