Notoriously underperforming NY Met relief pitchers, Aaron Heilmann and Scott Schoenweiss got their official releases today in the form of a savage deadly beating by fan favorite Mr. Met, the team mascot.After watching countless games in which the two stooges surrendered late inning leads, Mr. Met got some blessed retribution today as the pair were in to clean out their lockers.
As GM Omar Minaya watched, Mr. Met laid the lumber on both players, beating each to an unrecognizable pulp of flesh, bone and sinew. Ballpark maintenance crews reported the blood spray extended all the way to the 17th row of seats with some brain matter reaching as high as row six.
As it turns out, it was easier to have the pair whacked to salvage some salary space rather than placing the players through waivers. "I just wanted to send the team a message for the 2009 season", a determined Minaya quipped.
The pair will be taken to the brand new Citi Field and buried beneath the urinals, so that fans can remember them everytime they "relieve" themselves.
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