Sweet Creeping Jesus!

I can't even remember how long it has been since my Dolphins made the NFL playoffs. It seems like a whole 'nother lifetime ago.

Granted, there is a good chance that the Baltimore Ravens are going to kick their asses this weekend but give it up for the 'Fins anyway! A solid running game and defense...who'd a thunk they'd finally get wise and go back to what made them good all those years ago. I guess you can call it the "Marino Hangover".

As much as I think Dan was the best quarterback ever in the NFL, he played during a time the Dolphins abandoned the running game and when their defense couldn't stop a pack of girl scouts.

I Must Have Been A Good Boy This Year!

...because Santa brought me just what I wanted for Christmas! In fact, Santa spoiled me rotten this year.

For years I've been asking for the Stihl M290 Farm Boss chainsaw.

"You'll cut your leg off"

Drat, the unholy "you'll cut your (choose the appendage) off" thwarted me for years!

The conversation usually went something like this.

"Tay, we have a lot of fallen and dead trees on the property that need to be cleaned up"

"Yeah, I know"

"Well, if I had my own chainsaw, I could do it lickety split and we'd have more firewood for the wood burner."

"My Dad will come and take care of it. Besides, your a city boy and know nothing about chainsaws. The last thing I need is you cutting your leg off or killing yourself".

"C'mon Tay, your Dad lets me use his chainsaw all the time".

"Yeah, but that's supervised by my Dad and I know you...if you get your own chainsaw, you're going to want to take down trees and that's just way too dangerous. You'll eventually drop a tree on a car or the house god forbid...no you can forget about it!".

"But Tay, I watched the loggers on ESPN. I know how to do it now and I promise that I'll only take down the dead trees".

"Forget it"

...and thus it went as I harped on her for two years...until one day she asked me about chainsaws and I replied...

"I want the Stihl Farm Boss M290 with a side-access chain tensioner, IntelliCarb™ compensating carburetor, built-in winter-summer shutter for cold-weather operation, toolless filter caps and anti-vibration system designed to reduce fatigue."

Uh-oh, much like Ralphie in "A Christmas Story", I overplayed my hand...

"You'll cut your arm off!"

Until this Christmas, after opening all of the presents with the Peteys, Tay called me down to fill the woodburner. I went downstairs and saw Tay sitting down there on top of the woodpile. Sitting next to her, yeah, you guessed it...the Stihl Farm Boss!!!

Yup, I gots the most wonderful wife in the world that spoils me rotten.

Now, I'm off to see if I can lose 40 lbs the easy way!

Sweet Victory!!!

Blueys Hail Mary (15-1) 143, Flashes (13-3) 123.

15 consecutive wins after an opening day loss propelled the Hail Mary to their first WashPA FFL title. Hail Mary coach AJ Duhe raises the Lombardi trophy.

Regular season Co-MVPs: Clinton Portis/Brian Westbrook (~322pts)

Playoff MVP: Dallas Clark (37 pts in semis, 29 pts in Final)

...And Then There Were Two...

The WashPA FFL championship is set as its' two best teams outlasted their Round 1 playoff rivals. Bluey's Hail Mary ended Blicious' dream of an upset 146-102, while the Flashes easily handled the Gridiron Gladiators 186-131.

Bluey's Hail Mary (14-1) takes on Jimbo's Flashes (12-3) this weekend in a matchup for all the marbles and bragging rights for the year.

B and Francois will play a consolation game for third place.

Bluey's Favorite Java!

Okay, so I just started drinking coffee at the tender age of 41.

I can blame Poppinfresh for that, but that's not what this post is about.

It's about the best coffee ever made.

And before you 20 year coffee veterans start snickering to yourself about what an upstart coffee newbie can possibly know about coffee in less than a year, let me explain.

Well, first of all, let me propose my favorite coffee. It's Intelligensia's Zirikana, Rwanda.

And as my Father-in-Law says when he "borrows" my tools, "I'll tell you why..."

Well two reasons really:

Reason #1: Most coffee drinkers are poseurs. They really don't like coffee, they are just looking for a dessert drink like hot chocolate. They spoil the coffee flavors with milk, half and half, sugar, caramel, coffeemate, chocolate...you name it. A real coffee drinker drinks coffee black with nothing added. That's how I drink mine. I feel that to add anything to a cup of coffee takes away your right to provide commentary on coffee flavor. If you add anything, I'd argue that you really don't love coffee in the first place. I don't spoil my coffee with any additives whatsoever and can detect all the minimal nuances between the different brands/locations.

Which leads me to reason #2...

Reason #2: I have an extra sensory perception when it comes to coffee. Not can I only taste the different nuances and flavors between coffees, I can also taste the toils involved in harvesting the crop. I can taste the sweat and tears coming from the 12 year old boy who is forced to work 16 hours in the hot steaming sun picking the beans. I can taste his thirst as he works all day. I can taste the blood left on the beans from his raw hands stemming from his fingernails pulling away from his fingertips or his dried, cracked and brittle cuticles...

In some coffees, I can taste the death involved in the harvest in third world countries.

When I drink their coffee, the deaths and intense labor involved are celebrated, not ignored as it is by 99.8% other coffee drinkers in the world. I salute their efforts to provide me with such a wonderful product that I gladly pay $2.30 a cup for.

It kills me when I see others ruining thier coffee with what I consider "candy and/or whipped cream", as if somehow this cleanses the coffee's true origins and the hardship and pain involved in it's production.

When I see folks open their coffee lids at the "fixins" bar, I feel like that Indian who gets the McDonalds food thrown at my feet by thoughtless litterers.

A tear comes to my eye as I lament the forgotten fallen...as I raise my cup of java and pay my respect to my Rwandan/Nicaraguan/Guatemalan/etceteralan bretheren...

I Stole Your Money, Bitches!

Bernie Madoff, made off with potentially up to $50B in a ponzi scheme because of a few simple reasons.

#1: He had a well known name on Wall Street. People threw their money at him only because he managed so much of it. Don't do any research people, just trust the genius. It's like the run of the lemmings over a cliff. No-one was going to get fired for suggesting that they invest with Madoff because it was perceived to be a "safe choice". Well, with the utter non-transparency of the hedge fund, I don't understand how anyone could have performed the due diligence to make an educated decision on whether to hire him as a manager.

#2: He is Jewish. Right or wrong, it seems like Jews in all walks of life tend to mainly trust, promote or support other Jews to a fault. I guess they figure that a fellow Jew won't let them down. Lots of Jewish folks today are lamenting the loss of their life savings because of this foolish notion. Just because a person shares your background doesn't make them trustworthy. Hopefully, a big lesson will be learned here.

#3: He somehow convinced individuals, trusts and companies to place the majority to all of their funds all in one place (with him). How anyone can consider that a diversification policy is beyond me. Especially after the whole world watched the Enron fiasco. Anyone that put their whole life savings or entire trusts in Madoff's hands got just what they deserve.

Overall, it is very hard for me as a portfolio manager and equities analyst to feel too bad for a lot of folks out there who should have known better. How exactly does one place their life savings in an account in which they can't even see what they hold?

Unbelievable.

Expect his two sons to join him in jail soon. It is almost impossible for me to believe that with their positions they had no idea what was going on. In my position, I know everything my company holds in every account and I don't have a title like Chief Financial Officer.

Those two Madoff boys should be in jail as well, I cannot be convinced that they are innocent. They'd have to be borderline retarded for me to believe they had no knowledge of what Dad was doing. Dad is taking the fall to protect them. Expect them to be incarcerated shortly.

More Brainwashing Attempts By Unions!

This morning while watching the morning news, I saw a thirty second commercial spot villifying Walmart.

On the eve of the auto bailout news, the spot blamed Walmart for American losses of jobs, importation of questionable products from China and a host of other business evils and greed that are ruining US business.

Then I thought to myself...who the hell paid for that ad to basically dress down Walmart?

The answer...the unions...

The fucking evil unions that are ruining this country. The unions that chased steel out of Pittsburgh, the same union that will bankrupt Detroit's auto industry and the same unions that will bilk their members out of money to pay for the corruption of our own government.

Christ...Walmart is one of the few places low to middle income folks can go to, to buy good products at nicely discounted prices. People who have a brain in their head realize that Walmart has a good business plan. Buy in volume at highly discounted prices, sell in volume at low margins and everybody makes out...the company and the consumer.

Unions are offended that Walmart's workers aren't unionized. Therefore, they don't have any power over Walmart. Believe me, that eats into their craw. Let me let you in on a secret. I used to be a member of the Foodworkers Union when I was a young unskilled laborer. Most non management jobs at Walmart aren't supposed to be careers. Walmart doesn't believe in paying unskilled knuckle-draggers (believe me, we were all there at one time!) $20/hr and full medical benefits. Therefore, they can pass savings on to consumers and it is a win-win situation.

Unions don't seem to get that the time for unskilled laborers getting "as much as the unions can hold companies hostage for" is over.

So, what are they doing now? They are wasting their members hard earned cash on a propaganda campaign aimed to try to re-establish their fallacy that they are the only thing standing between "evil corporations who want you to be in poverty" and your personal wealth and happiness. They are using up every possible favor in the Democratic party to get an auto bailout and at best all it seems that they will get is a three month bandaid, which is a colossal waste of money.

Let's face it...this once noble institution of unions is on life support. Their corruption and greed is to blame for their own demise. They used their members dues and political power to wield votes to influence politicians for too many years and the time has come to pay the piper.

That Walmart ad is a sign of desperation. The end is coming.

Thank Jesus!

Lucky 13!

Bluey's Hail Mary (13-1) wrapped up the WashPA FFL regular season title with its' 13th consecutive victory this past weekend, a 163-118 decision over Classy.

Playoff seeds: Blicious (7-7, #4 seed) at Bluey's Hail Mary (13-1, #1 seed)
Gridiron Gladiators (8-6, #3 seed) at Flashes (11-3, #2 seed)

Sloppy Seconds Anyone?

At the risk of upsetting Tay, I'll take a plate of these sloppy seconds in a heartbeat!!!


Apparently, yesterday, NHLer Sean Avery tried to get fellow NHLer Dion Phaneuf off his game by referring to his old girlfriend, actress Elisha Cuthbert, who Phaneuf is currently dating as "his sloppy 2nds".



The NHL is looking into suspending Avery, which is total nonsense.



Dude, I'd take Avery's "sloppy seconds" any day of the week including the aging Alyssa Milano or Rachel Hunter. That guy has dated some smoking hot chicks!


Okay, pig time over...coming honey!!!!!

Bluey's First Bambi!

On Monday, at 42 years of age, I got my first buck. Of course, this was my first buck hunt.

And, no, I won't be putting on any clinics in hunting. Fourteen, yes that's 14 bullets later, I got my buck...

The two bucks I shot at, stood out in the field posing carelessly and were mocking me while I fired 7 shots at each. Neither seemed in a hurry to get going anywhere or had any other pressing engagements.

Or maybe they felt that if they had to have a hunter shooting at them, I was their man!


Well, maybe closing my eyes on the last shot was what did it (I'm kidding) as now I have tons on venison in the freezer!!!

Bluey's Hail Mary 118, Birdmen 80

The Hail Mary won it's 12th in a row (12-1) and now sit perched above the WashPA Fantasy Football League thanks to a Blicious (6-7) upset of the Flashes (11-2).

With only one regular season game remaining vrs Classy, the Mary have the inside track at the #1 seed in the playoffs. Five teams are vying for the two remaining playoff spots in a hotly contested final week.

Big Surprise! Rosie Live Cancelled!

Oops, I guess I'm not going to get a 70's style variety show brought to us by a big fat headed annoying loud-mouthed liberal...

Jeez, her show was cancelled after one show? I'm actually surprised it went that long. I guess they couldn't find a hook big enough to get her fat ass off the stage.

I guess The View, with her other retarded accomplices turned out to be the best of what's left for her. Maybe Bawbwa Wawa and Whoopdi Fuckin' Doo can find it in their hearts to take her back. I wouldn't hold my breath on that one either.

The death of a career doesn't smell like teen spirit, it smells like rotting water buffalo.

Bluey's Hail Mary 162, Grid Iron Gladiators 73.

The Hail Mary (11-1) won its' 11th straight game over Francois' 3rd place Gladiators this past weekend. In a preview of a potential 1st round playoff matchup, the Gladiators apparently decided not to show too much of its' hand in a fairly meaningless contest.

Up next: The Birdmen of Alcatraz

"Hello...This is Chives at the Disney Center"

I am a very mean man and a horrible father. According to my daughters anyway, after they fell victim to one of my latest pranks.



You see, we just got back from a Disney cruise. We got two staterooms. One for Tay and I and one for our four daughters. A Disney cruise for teens and pre-teens pretty much means they can stay up as late as they want enjoying their separate areas and activities.



Unfortunately, this means lots of sleeping in on mornings where we have excursions.



But I'm getting ahead of myself. For the past year or so that we had this cruise scheduled, the girls have been waiting anxiously for it to come. They crafted stories imagining what the cruise would be like and how wonderful it would be to be waited on hand and foot by some mythical person named "Chives", who would service their every need.



Needless to say the girls ordered room service the first hour on the ship.



So, after realizing that getting them all on the same page on our first day was such a hassle, I went to work on crafting a plan to get them hopping and on time to the multitude of events we planned.

About an hour before our first dinner at Triton's our girls received a phone call. It was a gentleman with a british/austrailian accent.

"Hello...yes, this is Chives at the Disney Center. I just wanted to remind you that you are scheduled for a 5:30 dinner at Tritons. The dress is more formal than the usually accustomed casual dining. Please be on time, so we can get everyone seated for an elegant dining experience!"

45 minutes later, 3 of the 4 girls are at the door ready to go and talking about some "guy named Chives at the Disney Center" who called them.

Well it turns out that Chives also made wakeup calls, reminder calls etc... for the rest of the trip. Sometimes he called himself Charles, sometimes Chaz but also Chives. The girls had an impeccable record for being on time whenever he called and they really looked forward to his calls. I told them that he had also been calling our room but that I had "told the jerk off and to stop bothering Tay and I with incessant calls". They were disappointed in me and you could tell that they were forming a real bond with Chives. All of the girls got to talk to him at least twice during the trip.

And even though they never listened to me, when Chives talked, Peteys listened.

Until the last night. When the girls were annoying us by prank calling our room. After the third time, they called and were immediately greeted by Chives.

"Chives at the Disney center, can I help you?"

click....

Another call. "Chives at the Disney center, can I help you?"

click...

Another call. "Chives at the Disney center, can I help you?"

"Um...yes, I'm trying to reach my parents but the call isn't going through"

"Is this Ms. Aussie?

"Um...yes"

"Well, it seems that your parents have asked me to put a block on the line. They were receiving prank calls. Is there anything I can help you with?

"Um...no...thank you"

About 5 seconds later the girls come storming in the room. I figured the jig was up and that they had figured out my clever ruse.

Aussie accuses me of putting a block on the phone line.

"What? No I didn't"

"Yes you did you liar. I spoke with Chives and he told me that you did!"

"Did he sound anything like this?.....Hello, this is Chives of the Disney center, can I help you?"

The girls jaws dropped.

"You're Chives?!!!!!"

"Yup. I have been the whole cruise!"

"We're going to kill you! You woke us up every morning and called us 5 times a day reminding us of things"

"Yeah, it's funny how you guys were on time to everything AFTER Chives was put on the job"

"I hate you, Dad" (in unison)

"Yeah...but I love you!"

Chives...one of my best creations ever.

NFL Rape: Bluey's Hail Mary 125, ProDonor 122.

NFL officials' refusal to award Steeler Troy Polamalu with a TD as time expired this week, cost ProDonor a stunning upset victory over the Hail Mary (10-1).

The Romo-led Mary was able to eek out a victory and remains in a first place tie with the Flashes (10-1). Next up are Francois' third place Grid Iron Gladiators (7-4).

Can Romo Take Hail Mary To The Promised Land?

After a broken pinkie sidelined Flavorfool QB Tony Romo for 4 weeks, Bluey's Hail Mary GM, AJ Duhe, made a bold move. He packaged super rookie RB Chris Johnson along with QBs Eli Manning and Matt Ryan in an effort to secure Romo's services for the final stretch of the season.

After 4 weeks of sitting on the bench watching incumbent QB Bret Favre amass a 9-1 record, we'll find out if Tony Romo can step in and help the Hail Mary win its' first WashPA chmpionship.

"After last year's 9-5 playoff miss, I didn't think we could afford to sit on our hands", said an optimistic Duhe. "It's going to take a hell of an effort to bring this trophy home and we feel that Romo gives us the best opportunity to do so". There has been no official word on whether Jessica Simpson will be allowed to attend Mary games.

Slagathor

Scrubs is my favorite TV sitcom, probably of all time. One of my favorite scenes in the show involves heartless Chief of Medicine, Bob Kelso, addressing the interns with poor Debbie the intern getting caught in the crossfire.

Of course, now I call all my girls Slagathor from time to time!

Enjoy! Thank Jesus for YouTube!

Hail Mary Win 9th In A Row!

Bluey's Hail Mary (8-1) 113, Birdmen of Alcatraz 32.

Bluey's Hail Mary (9-1) 129, Flavorfools 84.

The Hail Mary remain in a first place tie with the expansion Flashes (9-1), with seemingly a big playoff showdown in the cards, provided both teams survive the first round. The Hail Mary improve their lifetime WashPA FFL record to 18-6.

Congrats to the Democrats!

You've got your man elected and have a House and Senate majority. Now let's see what comes of it. So far, the democratic House and Senate has been a big disappointment, but now they'll have President Obama to work with.

What the Democrats do with this overwhelming power will speak volumes as to what the Democratic party is about. Obama made many, many promises.

I'm actually interested to see what the outcome will be. A little scared, mind you, but riveted nonetheless.

And, I would seriously recommend to anyone that voting by absentee ballot and being out of the country on a cruise during an election day is definitely the way to go!

Evil Oil Companies?

"If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." Friedrich Nietzsche

I get so tired of folks that are too lazy to think things through, making sweeping nonsensical arguments about what is wrong with America.

One popular argument is that evil oil companies are destroying our economy and taking advantage of us all. Usually Exxon-Mobil (XOM) is cited as the biggest offender, raking in windfall profits and bilking us out of millions of dollars!

Did you ever think to wonder who owns Exxon-Mobil (XOM)? Some consortium of oil barons who sit on OPEC boards? Darth Vader himself?

Obviously, since the government doesn't spend enough money, a windfall tax on XOM makes perfect sense. The government can "steal" that money from the rich and spread it around to the rest of us or spend it on things we need, right?

No...pretty much the American public owns XOM. 51% of XOM is owned by institutional mutual funds that pretty much every American owns in their 401Ks and individual retirement accounts. The other 49% is held by investors that hold individual shares of XOM in brokerage accounts.

Exxon executives and insiders cumulatively own closer to 0% of the company than 1%. No one individual investor owns greater than .02% of the company. The largest institutuional owners include noted mutual funds Vanguard and such and also various ETF's and Spyders that are popular investment vehicles for retirement accounts.

If you look at a chart of XOM, you see that investors get a very modest 2.1% cash dividend ($1.60 per year for each share) and the stock price movement is very boring when compared to something like Google. For many years, the stock didn't move at all until it's recent swing up and now it's falling back down. Let's face it, nobody is making a fortune recommending a very boring XOM stock.

So, who is the evil oil company? We are....

Us who have bought mutual funds to save for our retirement over the years. If you look in your portfolio, I can almost guarantee that you own some XOM somewhere. Lots of pension funds own plenty of XOM as well.

So then, who exactly will benefit from the XOM stock price finally moving from $50 to $90 (it's currently at $73) after not really budging for years. Do us investors get it?

Not if government has it's way with windfall taxes on these companies. Government will try to steal our money and use a clever ruse to "blame evil oil companies". Oh, it sounds good as we fill our gas tanks with $4 gasoline. But lo and behold we look into the abyss and realize that the abyss is us...

Oil companies have small profit margins at 10% or less. Google has a profit margin near 30%. But government doesn't consider enacting windfall taxes on them.

Government thinks you are too stupid to realize this.

Are you?

Bluey's Hail Mary 195, Blicious 90.

The Hail Mary continue to roll with its' 7th consecutive win (7-1) and maintain a first place tie atop the standings with the Flashes.

The week was a group effort with almost the entire roster ringing up 20+ points apiece. Next up on the schedule are the Birdmen of Alcatraz.

NY Rangers 4, NY Islanders 2.

The NY Rangers whooped the Gorton fishermen's ass last night to post their ninth win in October!

I just have one other comment to make about it.

1984! Losers!

Scariest Halloween Costume: Obama-Man

If nothing else, I've got to admit that Obama-Man is teflon. Nothing seems to stick to him and he seems impervious to any criticism.

No US birth certificate....no problem.
Disturbing set of friends, mentors and associates...nope.
Socialist ideology to "redistribute wealth"...it's all good.
A trillion dollars in new spending...so what.
No tangible experience...it's ok, we hope for a change!

Every other superhero seemed to have moments when the public questioned their motives or "goodness". Obama-Man gets nothing but love from the masses save a few annoying conservatives.

Abraham Lincoln once said "You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time."

Unfortunately, being able to fool some of the people (democrats) all of the time can be enough to get this guy elected as our next president.

My guess is that if he is elected, after he serves four painful years, there is a good chance that democrats won't get another sniff at a presidency for another 16 years or so. This guy is going to tax us into a depression and leave this country's defense department (he's advocating a 25% reduction!) devastated and that will be that.

Make sure your jobs are secure or you may find yourself the recipient of one of his "tax rebates"...er....I guess you can't call it a rebate if you pay no taxes...um....welfare? I'm not going out on a limb to suggest double digit unemployment will be the result of his tax plan.

Americans have a week left to find out what this guy is about. And he's not offering many answers because he's too busy enjoying being so enamoured. Hell, he's the unanimous pick of Hollywood and the UN! Does that tell you anything?

Shame on you, Americans!

Grand Larceny in Shootout!

Great article in Hockey Buzz on Saturday's Pens-Rangers game.

Just wanted to rub the Ranger victory in to all my Penguin loving friends.

You guys choked! Hahahahahahahhhaahahaha!!!

Well, I wonder what the clueless naysaying cock-knocker, NY Post columnist Larry Brooks has to say now about the Rangers. He's been pissing on this team since last season ended.

Larry lamented the non-signing of Sundin, Jagr, Shanahan et al ad nauseum.

I've been saying for years, play the rookies, play the rookies and play the rookies....they are very good.

The Rangers are finally prescribing to my theory to huge success...it's about fucking time!

Let's Finish Carving The Pumpkin!

Let's see.....

...a letter F....and a letter L...

What does it say?....

B...F....L....

Big Fat Liar!!!!

What a jackass! People like this woman deserve what they get.

Absolutely sickening...

Maybe we should force her to be Obama's intern if he wins...

Why Couldn't The Dems Recruit Colin Powell Earlier?

I tell you what. If the Democrats wanted my vote, they would have put General Colin Powell up for President, not simply for an endorsement. I would have easily voted for him.

Oh, wait...General Powell would have never gone for all the other crazy platforms that the Democrats support. There's the difference. He's good enough for an endorsement but wasn't good enough for any support from the liberal left or African Americans when he held Condi Rice's post in Bush's first administration.

I've always admired General Powell, as I do Condi Rice and will continue to do so. It's a shame that it took his political capital to make him worth something to liberals instead of the merits of his experience.

Sure, I'm disappointed that he chose to endorse a supremely underqualified candidate to be the next President of the United States, but I'm not surprised given his limited support of both wars in the first place. I'm also sure that Obama's people have promised him a prominent post in an Obama presidency for his support. I really can't blame the guy but hopefully he realizes that this is the party that never supported him through his ascendancy to the position in the world that he enjoys today.

And they'll be quicker to cut bait on him the minute it suits them to do so...

Right now, he's helping offset the Biden talk of America being attacked during the first 6 months of an Obama presidency. Honestly, don't the Dems write Joe's speeches? Wire that guy up with a shock collar already!

First Place!

Bluey's Hail Mary (6-1) bested former WashPA first place team, Flashes, 142-127 in a battle of the titans this past weekend.

Clinton Portis, Calvin Johnson and newly acquired Ryan Grant led the way to victory in this much anticipated matchup.

Both teams sit on top of the standings with identical 6-1 records. Next up for the Hail Mary is Blicious.

My Newest Purchase!

I went out and purchased another gun, a Remington 770 .270 caliber rifle. Also picked up enough .270 WIN rounds to hold off the federales if they try to take my land by force or if Obama sends government agents to quantify my carbon tax under some new crazy green scheme to tax my mowing activity. It should also be useful for deterring boyfriends from getting too handsy and should also blow a raccoon to unrecognizable bits.

I was test firing it the other day and it is a cannon! I'm going to have to wear ear plugs when I fire those 130 grain rounds. It puts huge holes in things! Yeah baby!

"Western PA Filled With Racists"- John Murtha

John, you are one motherfucking stupid honkey!!!.....

Oops, i guess you're right....

Honestly, can there be a more clueless asshole out there serving our country? Hmmmm.... Pelosi, Frank, Reid...pretty close....

God help this country if these people get a president to rubber stamp their nonsense!

Mr. Met Whacks Heilmann and Schoenweiss!

Notoriously underperforming NY Met relief pitchers, Aaron Heilmann and Scott Schoenweiss got their official releases today in the form of a savage deadly beating by fan favorite Mr. Met, the team mascot.

After watching countless games in which the two stooges surrendered late inning leads, Mr. Met got some blessed retribution today as the pair were in to clean out their lockers.

As GM Omar Minaya watched, Mr. Met laid the lumber on both players, beating each to an unrecognizable pulp of flesh, bone and sinew. Ballpark maintenance crews reported the blood spray extended all the way to the 17th row of seats with some brain matter reaching as high as row six.

As it turns out, it was easier to have the pair whacked to salvage some salary space rather than placing the players through waivers. "I just wanted to send the team a message for the 2009 season", a determined Minaya quipped.

The pair will be taken to the brand new Citi Field and buried beneath the urinals, so that fans can remember them everytime they "relieve" themselves.

Bluey's Hail Mary 149, Brio 90.

The Hail Mary have finally slain the Brio beast to the tune of a 59 point victory! The 5-1 Hail Mary surge past Brio (4-2) into second place.

Usual suspects, Clinton Portis and Roddy White carried the day again.

This week's matchup pits WashPA's #1 team, Flashes (6-0) against its' #2 Hail Mary!

Fall Pilgrimage 2008

(props to Irish for the picture)

The Fall 2008 pilgrimage can be best summed up by this picture. Just a bunch of guys enjoying 70+ degree weather in the middle of October!

With Lake Erie as as backdrop, we drank some brews and played a Cornhole tournament (Jimmy P and the Handyman took the title, going undefeated at 3-0).

We also renewed the Genius/Tard rivalry in softball with SRU besting a severely depleted Genius squad 14-9. The Tards performed well in the clutch scoring their five go ahead runs in the last inning breaking the 9-9 tie. Quite an offensive display including an impressive moonshot HR by the Handyman at a crucial juncture in the game. Choder picked up the win on the mound.

We celebrated Paul Newman's life by watching Slapshot and later in the evening Meersky used Newman's Own salad dresing to moisturize his chapped lips after licking them to dryness during the Newman bedroom scene with the topless "A Christmas Story" mom. We also watched Ironman as well.

Several games of Ca$h and Gun$ were played to hilarious fruition with Poppinfresh, Bluey, Francois, Irish, Choder and Handyman putting their mad gangsta skilz to the test. Francois, HandyMan and Yags played a marathon Magic session and Irish again took home the Stones title with no Conor there to challenge him. Unfortunately, the Pilgrimage Jeopardy game wouldn't load so I guess we'll save it for the spring.

Other highlights include Meersky bartending with his awesome whiskey sours, Habib got as drunk as I have ever seen him on Thursday night and was hilarious, the return of Bluey's special sauce, Stebie sending Tracer to a guys only pilgrimage by herself for babysitting while he spanked off backstage at a Joe Satriani concert and Officer Mehoff made his triumphant return from Afghanistan.

All in all, lots of fun as usual...see you in the spring!

The Fall Pilgrimage - Thursday Night

The weather is supposed to be in the mid 70's. It looks like were going to get some perfect pilgrimage conditions.

Bluey, Habib, Meersky, Irish and the Handyman are in the house...

Tracer, Poppinfresh and Erie are MIA, ...I'm guessing threesome!

The tomato water was made last night and is just waiting to sicken pilgrimage goers....

The Stock Market

Curse Poppinfresh for dragging me into this god-forsaken business!!!

Nah....

While admittedly the recent pain has been hard to stomach, I think we've done as good of a job as we could reasonably expect.

So, nobody has to call us to find out if we're still alive. I did have to talk Poppinfresh and Francois off the ledge earlier this week, but I think we're okay now.

Just wanted to share this hilarious parody of our favorite magazine "The Economist". Yes, I do wish this cover was real!

All I have to say is thank god I'm relatively young, nowhere near retirement age, haven't recently purchased a home and live fairly simply.

Maybe it's time to increase my chicken flock though!

Bluey's Hail Mary 140, Classy 115.

The Hail Mary squad bettered its' record to 4-1 with a solid win over Classy this past weekend. Eli Manning stepped in for Bret Favre and led the Mary to its' fourth consecutive win.

Clinton Portis and Roddy White both posted 30+ point games to round out the scoring. The Hail Mary gets its' chief nemesis Brio next week. The Mary is 0-3 historically versus Brio.

Are The French Retarded?

...or has this become the way we deal with rogue nations in the world today?

Oh, I just can't wait until Obama is president. Then we won't have to use France as a go between to Iran and we can just provide nuclear power to Venezuela and Iran in return for their promise not to use it to make weapons.

Honestly, does anybody ever wonder why such huge oil producing nations need nuclear power when they have all the cheap energy they can possibly want? uh-duhhhhh...

Hail Mary Rides Favre's Arm To Another Victory!

Brett Favre exploded for 6 TD passes and 50 points as Bluey's Hail Mary devastated DyNasty 153-119 in their Week 4 WashPA FFL contest.

Favre exploited the weak defense as many Hail Mary starters were lost to injury (Colston, Westbrook) or bye week (Cal Johnson, Gonzales and Clark).

The Hail Mary (3-1) moves on to play Classy in a showdown of disgruntled NY Mets fans team owners.

By the way....the Mets suck!!!! Please somebody kill Aaron Heilman and Scott Schoenweiss in the offseason and dump Alou, Wagner, Martinez, Castillo, and Castro. Also, trade Delgado while you can get something for him. Basically, keep Reyes, Wright, Beltran, Schneider, Santana, Pelfrey, Maine, Joe Smith, and take a wrecking ball to the rest. From what I understand the Mets have alot of salary expiring this year. They should take advantage of it.

Baaawhoooo-gaaaa!!!

Dumbass greedy investment bankers and brokers! The shit has hit the fan and the pigeons are finally coming home to roost. The FBI is finally getting off its' dumb ass and starting to investigate at FNM, FRE, AIG and others.

Let's get some of these fuckers in jail by Christmas, please! It won't solve things, no....but I'd feel a whole lot better having to suffer the consequences of their nonsense! People, brace yourselves...it looks like we're in for a long haul....

Oh....Beee-licious!!!!!

Bret Favre's touchdown toss in the final few minutes propelled Bluey's Hail Mary to a 114-113 victory over Aaron Rodgers and his Blicious squad.

An intercepted 2 pt conversion pass (-3 points) was called back on a Blicious penalty insuring the victory. Favre was then pulled to preserve the win.

The Hail Mary (2-1) play DyNasty next...

How PETA Sees Women

In what has to be one of the oddest things I've ever seen from the PETA nuts, the group is now fighting against the horrors of American dairy cows by suggesting that we substitute it with human breast milk!

PETA has targeted Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream in a letter that can only be construed as a ploy to "identify and expose the abuse experienced by dairy cows".

So, they suggest a natural and healthy alternative to evil cow's milk. Human women can be milked for the food source. Now, I'm lactose intolerant, so maybe it's about time that I cozied back up to the breast bar where it all started for a little snackity snack...yummy!

I tell ya....PETA trots out nakie women, PETA tries to give me more access to the boobies,....PETA is getting real close to converting me into their doctrine.

Why Is Smiling Bob Still Smiling?

Enzyte's Smiling Bob is bound to turn into a grimace as Enzyte peddler, Steve Warshak, looks to be going to jail. He was sentenced to a very stiff and non-flaccid 25 years in jail.

One can only wonder whether he'll be smiling as much when his cellmate, Bubba, washes his Enzyte down with a Viagara/Levitra/Cialis cocktail and does his business to the "Deliverance" soundtrack!

Style Over Substance Again

The whole D-NY Charles Rangel debacle is fitting considering the choice that Democrats are asking us to make this November.

Mr. Rangel who was appointed as chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee (basically the tax-writing committee), was exposed for not paying taxes on several properties over the past 10 years. He has hired a forensic accountant because he freely admits he doesn't understand the codes and is claiming ignorance and not poor ethics.

That may be as well and true but after meeting with Nancy Pelosi (who is thought to have begged for him to step down from the chairman position only), Mr. Rangel refuses to abdicate the chair of the Ways and Means Committee. The reason why the Democrats want him to step down? I can make a fairly educated guess.

Either the Democrats feel that he is a crook or is it perhaps that Mr. Rangel possesses no qualifications to have this position in the first place? I'm thinking it's the latter (although it may be some of the former too). God knows he's not the first politician, Dem or Republican to cheat the government out of taxes.

My bigger question is how do the Democrats put someone like him in that position in the first place? I have nothing against Mr. Rangel but it is painfully obvious that he possesses no extraordinary experience nor insight on tax code. You're telling me that there was no one else in the House with tangible tax experience? That's pretty hard to swallow.

Unfortunately, the Democrats run their party like a big union. Talent has nothing to do with advancement. It's how many years you've played the game and how many favors you've extended over the years. Charlie is a big rah-rah guy and this was a way for the Dems to reward him. Pathetic. Unfortunately, the Democrats are asking us to make a similar choice in electing Obama this November...lot's of style...seems like a really nice guy...but in what way is he even qualified to become president? He has passed little to no legislation of his own, has no history of bipartisanship and has not illuminated specifics on any of his ideas that he is trying to sell.

We'll get plenty of Hope and Change though. We just have no idea what that is.

McCain on the other hand is an enigma in the Republican party. Most hard line conservatives can't stand him because they see him as too liberal. That is nonsense too. McCain is his own man, has a history of working across the aisle with Democrats (feel free to google "Gang of 14") and makes decisions based upon good old common sense (not polls). His decisions won't always be popular nor always will follow party line. That's a good thing and exactly what this country needs.

I've talked about this before, but I feel if we don't move more towards the center and cleave off the nuts on the extremes of both parties, we're heading towards doom. I can almost guarantee you that McCain's longtime buddy and former Dem (until the party turned on him) Joe Liebermann will get a prominent appointment in his cabinet. Not because McCain owes Joe anything, it's that he believes in Joe's sensability on issues and will rely on his experience. The Republicans will cry about this but too fucking bad, Joe will be an asset to McCain. Democrats cry about Sarah Palin's experience as a small state (population wise, I guess) governor of Alaska. Last I checked governors make the best executives and the last Dem president was one certain Governor of Arkansas, Bill Clinton. Does a Governor of Arkansas somehow garner more experience than one in Alaska. I find that laughable.

So, it comes down to experience and substance over ideas and style...

Give me the experience and substance any day of the week. The Democrats should be embarrassed that they are going to lose an election that should have been a slam dunk with any experienced moderate candidate.

Hail Mary 188, FlavorFools 121.

Bluey's Hail Mary bounced back from its' Week 1 loss with a vengeance, posting a 188-121 victory over Flave's FlavorFools this past weekend.

The Hail Mary were led by solid weeks by Brandon Marshall (18 catches, 45 points), Calvin Johnson, Brian Westbrook and Clinton Portis.

Next up... Bluey's Hail Mary @ B's Blicious squad.

More "First Eggs"

On September 8th, we got a first egg from one of our Barred Rock hens (either Salt or Pepa).



On the 10th, we added another first egg by one of our Rhode Island Red hens (probably Cinnamon). It was a whopper (2nd from the left).



Now, we think that all four 23 week pullets are laying eggs (except maybe the still undersized Ginja).



So, we are now getting 2-3 eggs per day which is awesome! And that huge egg from 9/10 (pictured) turned out to be our first double yolker!

Uh-Oh..."Non-Enlightened Woman" On Brink Of VP!

The National Organization of Women is a sham...just like the NAACP is as well. You see, these organizations don't really support women or African-Americans...they support liberals. They are organizations built by men-hating dykes and racist enablers. Neither group has their supposed constituency's best interests in mind.

If they did, Condi Rice would be hailed as a pioneer and hero and she isn't. That is an absolute embarassment to BOTH organizations.

And Sarah Palin absolutely frightens liberal women because for years liberal women have looked down their noses at "salt of the earth, conservative and independent stay at home moms", considering them ignorant and ultimately controlled by men. They looked to a day when a liberal woman would rise up, take center stage and lead women out of the "dark ages". They were going to usher women into the 21st century.

There's only one problem with that. They forgot that they needed the other 50% of women's support to do this. In true fashion, by discounting and ignoring conservative women's needs thay have become worse than the men. Now, a strong and gifted conservative woman has stepped forward. Will these women support her? Some will. Most are already using male derived stereotypes to decry her ability to lead. They cite that she won't be able to raise a family and be VP. They deride her experience even though she has more than either Obama or Hillary possess. They blame her for her daughter's early pregnancy. They call her a nasty, lying bitch (maybe not in so many words). They call her a pawn and joke put forth by the Republicans as a cheap ploy to get women's votes.

I find it truly disgusting and what they are really mad at is Obama's inability to patch things up with Hillary and put her on the ticket. Instead, he picked an intellectually tired good old boy for VP, who represents everything that is wrong with career politicians. The guy in 20 years has never been able to garner anything but minimal support in his own party as a presidential candidate. But Obama, in the end, couldn't swallow his pride and chose to cut Hillary loose. That, was Obama discounting liberal women due to an overblown image of himself. He erroneously thought he could carry their support by himself. That was a fatal mistake that WILL cost the Dems the election, mark my words...

If women want to do the right thing, they will support Governor Palin even if they don't vote for McCain for President. I find it extremely ugly and distasteful to see women tearing each other down and questioning each other's capacity to serve in government. That, is what always seems to set women back...their non-support of each other when it counts.

And maybe one day, liberal women will finally get it and stop discounting conservative women as inferior to men and themselves. I think Governor Palin is going to teach them a hard lesson on that front.

Now, women, go out and give Condi Rice the props that she deserves. I am ashamed at how she is ignored and goes unpraised even though she serves our proud nation as a truly capable Secretary of State. She's so good at it, I actually forget the fact that she is a woman. No woman has ever served in that capacity before, dealing with foreign dignitaries in some of the most challenging arenas (such as the Middle East where women are more discounted than anywhere in the world) and during some of the most tenuous times.

Condi...you rock!!! Sarah...you too!!!

Addendum: An interesting Sept 16th article in the WSJ, "Why Feminists Hate Sarah Palin"

Brio 134, Bluey's Hail Mary 107

Well, just like last season, the Hail Mary drops the first game of the season to Brio. Last year, the Hail Mary missed the playoffs by one game to Brio.

That is not exactly the good juju Bluey wanted to start the new season with. Next up on the schedule, Bedrock's own...Mr Flava Flintstone's Flavorfools....

Wicked Tickets - Tuesday, Sept 9

Anybody interested in Wicked tickets for tomorrow's show at the Benedum theatre in Pittsburgh?

I have a pair of tickets for $50 total available in the 2nd Tier, row V, right center section.

Contact me by email if interested.

1 Month Old Kittens!

Luna's kittens are 1 month old today. They are absolutely adorable and very active.

They just got started on kitten chow and should be ready for adoption by the end of September for anybody interested.

Here is a picture of the little furballs. Feel free to reserve your new kitty today!

First come, first served!

The Hoopie Coop: Significant Upgrade

The Hoopie Coop that my Father-in-Law grilled me for and named last year has received a makeover.

The Hoopie Coop pretty much started out as my first temporary coop and was nothing more than Aussie's old bedframe with some chicken wire wrapped around it. Although this city boy was originally proud of his ingenuity, Tay's Dad immediately took me down a peg by laughing at it and coining the name, calling it a "real hoopie coop".

This past weekend, I converted the Hoopie Coop into a brooder/coop for Churkey and her three baby chicks.

Enjoy the pictures! I think I did a pretty admirable job on it and Churkey and the chicks seem to like it.

I guess I'll have to wait for Tay's Dad to weigh in on my new coop creation.