Proof That God Loves Me

Benjamin Franklin once stated that "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy", or some permutation of that phrase anyway.

I received proof that God loves me on May 10, 2000. On that magical day, my divorce was finalized.

No, you are not going to hear a bitter rant about my ex-wife or that how my divorce was a beautiful thing. Let's face it, divorce is an ugly, painful and humbling experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Especially when children are involved. You just try your best to keep the children you love out of the line of fire. And that isn't easy unless you are willing to swallow a little self-righteousness. Divorce isn't about right or wrong, it's about survival after the fact.

What made the day one of beauty was the poetic justice involved and the proof to me to this day that the phrase "You reap what you sow", is probably the truest quotes ever spoken.

You see, I woke up on that morning and dreaded everything about it. A trip to my lawyer's office in which she was going to negotiate the terms of divorce with my ex, Mothra and her lawyer, who were thankfully sequestered in another room. As the lawyers went back and forth with proposal after proposal, I let my lawyer know that the only thing I really cared about was to have shared custudy of my kids. The financial side to me, was of substantially, less importance. I thought that I was going to get a fight on the custody issue. I did not at all. But as the hours wore on into the afternoon and early evening, I made a seemingly endless series of financial concessions, much to my lawyer's chagrin. I was ecstatic that I got the shared custody without a fight, so why would I fight for a hundred dollars here, a thousand bucks there, when I was paying a lawyer $200 an hour to haggle all day?

But the process was taking forever and I was starting to worry about getting to see my girls that evening. I was supposed to pick them up at 5pm and here it was nearly 6pm and I still had an hour to drive.

There was one last item to be resolved and I don't wish to get into the specifics, but I didn't want to budge because this last concession would have been ridiculous and have far reaching financial implications. After my ex threatened to walk out without the resolution and after "motherfucking" my lawyer and her own lawyer, our lawyers finally decided to put us together in a room and resolve the last issue, which thankfully was done quickly.

I walked out of the building a "free" man but honestly, I felt pretty hollow. I was happy that my shared custody of the kids was in place and that's all I really cared about. I was pretty much in financial ruin, but, who isn't after a divorce?

I got into my car and began the trek up north to visit my children. As I drove, I realized that I had only a sandwich for lunch and had nothing to drink but a few small cups of water out of a water cooler all day. Since I was late, the babysitter would have already fed the girls, so I was probably going to take them to the park to play.

I decided to stop along the way and grab something quick from Wendy's in Cranberry, PA.

I was dying of thirst mainly. I was also craving a spicy chicken sandwich, so I asked for a combo with Dr. Pepper. That's when the voice in the speaker asked me the question that offered proof of God's love."Do you want to Biggie size that?"

Usually, nine times out of ten, I say "no thanks". But that day, I was so thirsty, that all I could think about was that massive cup of Dr. Pepper. I was so thirsty, I dreamed of kneeling in a rubber kiddie pool and pouring pitcher after pitcher of Dr. Pepper over my head and naked body, drenching my nipples and quenching my desire for....uh, I think I got off the path there for a second. Anyway, you get the picture. I was extremely thirsty and told the gal, "Yes, that would be fine".

As I pulled away with my dinner, I almost immediately drank about half the soda. The tension of the day started to wash out of me and I was only about ten minutes from the girls. All was starting to come together. I ate the spicy chicken sandwich and was feeling pretty good. I looked down at the huge carton of fries and noticed a pulltab game piece on it. Apparently, they were only on Biggie size drinks and fries. I pulled the tab on the drink and it was a loser. Big surprise there, huh? I didn't need a pull tab to tell me what a loser I already felt like.

Then I pulled the tab on the fries."Universal Studios Orlando Trip", it said.

No, it can't possibly be that I won anything. I threw the pull tab on the passenger side floor and went to play with my girls. As usual, we had a blast and I was very happy that the day ended on such a positive note.

About ten or so days went by when I was watching TV one saturday and saw a Wendy's commercial. It was promoting the grand prize of a 4 day VIP family trip for four to Universal Studios with accomodations at the Portofino Bay Hotel. I remembered the pull tab.

I went out to the car and looked through the passenger side area and thank god I hadn't cleaned it out in two weeks. There was the pull tab. It had a phone number on it. I went inside and dialed it and got a prize line with information on how to proceed in claiming my prize. I still couldn't believe it and couldn't reach a human being to verify it. I sent a certified letter to the address with the pull tab, keeping a copy for myself. Three weeks went by and I had forgotten all about it until I received a letter in return verifying that I was a grand prize winner.

Now, on any other day, I would have never stopped at that Wendy's. I would have taken my girls to dinner closer to their home. and if I did, I probably would not have Biggie sized the order.

As it turned out, I called my sister Siouxsy and invited her to join us on our trip to Florida. The five of us had a wonderful time and we even extended the vacation two days to take the girls to Disneyland as well. Not lost on me, was how something so wonderful came out of something so painful. I realized that everything was going to be alright and that God was sending me a sign that the future was going to be sunny.

My daughters and I continue to make that trip to Florida evey few years.Now if I could only find a rubber kiddie pool and a case of 2 liter bottles of Mr. Pibb...