Twice a year, me and up to about 20 or so buddies go up north to the shores of Lake Erie in NY to unwind, play some sports and generally act like a bunch of idiots for 3 days. My buddy, Irish hosts the event and the two of us do our best to promote it every year to ensure maximum attendance.
The emails that promote the event are usually original and extremely bizarre.
Here is this fall's latest entry sent as an open email:
And as I walked naked down the peninsula, my toes found the warm white sand that reminded me of the playdoh I used to wring my hands through and the lead-based paint chips I loved to eat. My speedo thong, visually eclipsed by the rolls of fat supported by my appetite for General Tso's chicken and zebra cakes, found my warm crevices and barely covered the manhood I haven't had the opportunity to see in years. The sun, glistening tempestuously off the beads of sweat generated by my thirty foot journey from Leviathan, warmed me to the core evoking memories of sleeping next to the clothes dryer as a child and spanking off in my parent's food pantry. For the pilgrimage was only a day away, and soon, people that I barely tolerate and some that I downright despise, will flood into this beautiful village spoiling everything that is good like a hoard of maggots digesting a gassy and engorged plague filled rat's spleen. God, I hated those fuckers....
For more, read the Viking Paperback "Where Fun Goes to Die" by exciting new novelist Bluey!
Believe it or not. We had one hell of a turnout this year.
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