Spring 2006 Pilgrimage Odds!

"Sparrow" Flowboy walks into another glass sliding door: 3:1

Odds that Sparrow re-injures his knee doing something completely retarded: 2:1.***submitted by Sparrow

Este & Tracer going to Cleveland to see a "free" movie 5 minutes after showing up at the cottage: 2:1 (very likely)

Real cost of the free movie (@$2.97 per gal gas prices + snacks and drinks): +/- $40 (what a bargain!)

The opportunity to give Este as much shit as possible for it: priceless!

Gary (of Ace and Gary fame or aka FNG) getting tagged in the pumpkin by a dodgeball: 12:1

Gary sharing glamour shots of his Mom with rest of group: 4M:1

Poppinfresh & Erie showing off their savage tans from the Keys by wearing thongs all weekend:Poppinfresh: 45,000:1Erie: 2:1 (yeah, baby! throwing it out there like a frisbee!)

Poppinfresh wins the Sugar Hill Classic (with Sparrow on the shelf) 3:2, Felatio 3-1,Bluey wins 5-1, Rest of the field 12-1

Bluey monopolizing over 40% of the pilgrimage weekend conversation: 1:1 (even money, baby!)

Bluey bleeding out after the New Jersey Devils trounce his beloved Rangers: 30:1

Odds that Bluey will tell his worn-out "I almost bled out on my bathroom floor" story: 1:1***submitted by Choder

Forrandez reinjuring his big toe diving to his left at the SS position and turning a doubleplay singlehandedly displaying his mad skilz 1:1

Irish getting drunk on Absolute Cintron 1:1 andblowing Highmark Blue 15:1
Highmark Blue blowing him 15:1
The two of them killing each other 8:1
performing all three in a span of 12 minutes 10:1

Irish in his drunken stupor get obnoxious 1B:1 (trick question, he was obnoxious to begin with)and then goes for a drunken walk on the beach and isn't seen for 2 hours 3:1

number of people who miss him when he's gone +/- 2 (and go looking for him)
number of apologies Irish makes the following day +/- 86

Number of hours until Meersky insults Tracer for the first time +/- 2
insult involves the terms, Iron Beaver 6-1, sucking his crank 8-1, Bulldyke 4-1, hit the wall 21-1.

Number of times Meersky calls Yaugs "cupcake": +/- 10 (cooincidental for number of Zebra cakes in a box?)

Number of times Meersky utters the line "you cheatin' fuck": +/-3

VBP Softball Championship at Chavez Retard: Geniuses favored over SRU Tards by 3 runs.

Softball MVP odds, Francois 3:1, Meersky 7:1, Felatio 8:1, Pimp-N-Playa 4:1, T-dog (quality!) 9-1, rest of field 10:1 except light hitting 15 year old Mexican kid, Forrandez, who carries a Mendoza line batting average and is only known for his defensive prowess 99:1

Age of Forrandez +/- 14 years of age

VBP Dodgeball Tournament at Tardington Courts: SRU Tards favored by 1 game (best of 15)

Who gets plunked in the head this year? Bluey/Gary repeat 10:1, Francois 100:1, Choder 80:1, Rest of field 15:1

Pimp-N-Playa gets shut out by another diner waitress 1:3 (very likely)

Plus/Minus for Total Amount of Yards Pimp-N-Playa assesses for various jizzmopping penalties: +/- 1,000 yards

Pimp-N-Playa utters his 100th incantation of the word "fuck" (in any form), +/- Friday, 9pm (remember, he's coming Thursday)

Sparrow plays possum and announces he is fit to golf and wins: 25:1
If above event comes to fruition, how many hours after the match until he is kneecapped by a fellow Genius +/-2

Trimpdog and Yaugs repeat as horseshoe champs at the Tardbeach Pits: 12:1 (T-dog does have to show up to win)

Chances of another Meersky-Bluey pairing: 6-1

Number of ounces of piss that would start flowing in Irish's pants if that would to occur +/-12

Number of 18 year old, Rock girls that will miss T-Dog's manhood while he's at the pilgrimage +/- 8 (you stud!)

Number of times Irish says "Ohkaaaayyy!" and "What" in his Lil' Jon voice and "I'm Rick James....bitch" +/- 80

Where Choder hides the beloved BOG this time:the freezer 19:1, the crisper 15:1, in his own ass 10:1. (Would that be considered gay?)

Odds Choder would bitch about having odds for putting the book in the freezer, 1:1***submitted by Highmark Blue

Number of trains that Felatio will miss out on photographing during the pilgrimage +/- 16

Number of trains that the guys plan on running on Felatio after he falls asleep for missing recent pilgrimages +/- 16

Felatio - Horseshoe - Tree +/- 35ft in the air

Number of times that Ace gravitates to the seawall for comfort during the weekend +/- 12

Ace and Gary perform a repeat performance of the infamous coed jacket licking incident of 2005 20:1

Ace refusing to partake in any of the games or sporting events protesting the fact that no "medals" are awarded 1:1

Yaugs aka "Cupcake" burns down the cottage 11:1 (which incidentally is his shoe size)

Este burns down cottage after insensitive fucks make fun of the Ricky Martin retrospective selections on his Ipod. 16:1 (Livin' the Vida Loca!) Bet on Choder to be the kindling!

Number of Zebra Cakes consumed by Yaugs +/- 20

General Jeffy gets dillrock payback 15 years later, 20:1 (represent, yo, motherfuckers!)

General Jeffy utters "war is hell" 1,000:1

Francois cancels due to a report due 100:1

A "whipped" Francois brings his new girlfriend to the pilgrimage 15:1

Francois chokes on a hotdog a la the Lord Stanley's Orphans choke job to Pimp-N-Playa's Seed 8:1 (numbers seem familiar, huh?)

Things that Irish claims are "ruining the pilgrimage"
Halo 400:1, golf 12:1, breakfast at the diner 10:1, women 18:1, italians 2:1.

Handjob grows a sac and a set of cajones and tells the wife once and for all that he wears the pants +/- 1 sundress

Erik the Anal Viking announces that the wife is history and promptly whips out the chickenheart for Tracer and Erie 1M:1

Blue decides that the pilgrimage is for him and comes up for the festivities 500:1

Bluey ends up singing and playing "Dust in the Wind" at his funeral on Monday 2:1 (assuming he comes)

Gavo misses the pilgrimage due to an Auschwitz re-enactment 55:1

Habib drops out of school and goes to pilgrimage then goes on a Jack Daniels induced rampage after getting so much shit for missing pilgrimages that leaves 16 people dead and 4 wishing they were: 4M:1

Officer Mehoff gets arrested for building a shed that violates Kittanning building codes and is sodomized in jail when Bubba and Leroy play Texas Hold'em for who gets Mehoff's anal virginity: 250:1 (that's what you get for missing pilgrimages!)

Grommie realizes that instead of emailing porn, he could use the time spent to actually hang with the "cool" kids 3000:1

Hamdog realizes that there is a Poison concert at the Rochester Future Farmers of America Fair and promptly misses the pilgrimage to attend (cooincidentally, Duran Duran and Winger are the opening acts).

Hamdog finally comes out of the closet after a positive movie review of Brokeback Mountain 14:1