(submitted by Irish, embellished and spell-checked by Bluey)Irish Vehicle Whore:
Battle clad in a gay green shamrock, this kind of player doesn't really try to go for the weapons or the kills, over grabbing the keys to the warthog and driving everyone around from place to place. Typical passenger includes Migrant Mexican blueberry pickers. He's like an Irish Cab driver who can't lay off the vehicles, despite another player having an obvious missile lock and spare rocket for his ass. Usual post game stats read something like this: Kills :1, Assists: 50, Medals: 16*, Life Span: 15 Minutes. If you want to get rid of this player, load coagulation without any vehicles and *poof*, he's gone! This strategy has been used by the Rocket Whore.* In case SeaWall (Spawn Camping Fuck) is wondering, these are "run over" kills medals.
Alaskan Beer Drinkers (AKA The McKenzie Brothers of the Great White North):
I don't know if these guys are Irish, but they sure seem drunk all the time when they play Halo 2. One thing the clan noticed is that you have to turn down your headset volume when the one called Badow screams in his slurred speech. The one called Grip admittedly isn't as bad as his brother, but Badow is known to do some really stupid shit from time to time. (ex run to the wrong base with the flag, or tries to plant the bomb in the wrong place.) Master Chief needs to join the AA at some point to fix this drinking problem. Team play with these two can sometimes be a real experience after they've had a few beers.
Whiskey Playa:
This game type lives in a place called Champagne, Illinois, which shows he also has a serious love for alcohol. This gamer is a perpetual student nicknamed Beeb and has been known to make a mint juleps or two prior to hitting the power button, although a dry martini is not out of line if the juleps is sparse. The drunker he gets, the funnier he is to play with, as he begins to say damn near anything to his teammates, complains about art school, or the crazy bullshit his professors make him do on a weekly basis. The only problem with this type of player is he doesn't play enough, but then again, he's got lots of homework to do. Beebs especially likes forty-something southern broads that live in trailers, especially the Family Gal.
Green-Horn:
This is the person that signed up for X-box live, and maybe uses it 2-3 times per year. They don't play Halo 2 with us much because it intimidates them, or they die all the time. When asked why they don't play much they reply: "All I do is die, and I can't kill anyone. I just suck!" Meanwhile, we all know that this is not so much the result as it is the cause of their suckdom. The reason they suck is because they never play, which causes them to suck, which causes them not to play, which causes them to suck, which causes them not to play..., well, you get the point. I won't mention any names like François, Cupcake, Choder, Specter Zero, etc.
Tank Whore:
This player type lives to hop into the tank and roll over the skulls of those who would dare try to take the tank off of him. He can be found on Coagulation firing the tank gun on innocent spawn victims who happen to pop up around the base. Of course he waits until they are two feet from the base before killing them. He considers this tactic, "giving them half a chance" and thereby relieving himself of the "spawn camping fuck" tag in his own mind. When someone else gets in the tank, he makes it a personal vendetta to recover the tank from the invader. If a person blows up the tank, this player type often seeks revenge. Many boards don't allow for Tanks, which sadden this individual, however he's a capable fighter despite these conditions. His secret wish is for a Tanks on Midship game type.
The Family Gal (submitted by Bluey, no need to get Irish in trouble):
Enjoys watching hermaphroditic porn with her 5-year old son. Claims that her special bond allows them to fully enjoy the medium without it being "inappropriate" as some uneducated cads claim it to be. May or may not live in a trailer depending on who you ask. Henrietta Pussycat makes her wet. The Family Gal can usually be found teaming up with the donkey punched Svetlana in a desperate effort to prove that women can play with the big boys. Unfortunately, she usually ends up as a "snak-pak" and her body pudding can be found littering the game boards. She has a southern drawl and may or may not have a set of balls for a chin.
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