Aussie's A Ranger Jinx As Well!

I took Aussie to the Pens-Rangers game last night for her birthday trip to the Mellon Arena. The cartoonists were there and we sat for a quick sketch. Aussie cheered on the Pens and was mortified by my "Lets Go Rangers!" chants. It was all for naught as Aussie cheered the Pens on to a 3-1 victory. Ranger-killer Evgeny Malkin figured prominently again.

It was Aussie's first trip to the arena and she will definitely return again, but maybe not when the Pens play my precious Rangers. All in all a good time had by all!

Oh and by the way, I did roll my ankle on the walk back to the trolley and Aussie fibbed that I didn't, which made Tay doubt the need of a massage on my "Jesus foot" later in the day. The "Jesus Foot" story, however, is for another post.

My ankle is recovering fine, no thanks to the non-believing Tay Tay.

Why Can't I Have Normal Kids?

This is the text of an email I recieved from two of my daughters on Saturday morning after they were up goofing around all night Friday:

Itsssss pumpkin timeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! yo yo yo yo its friday and some things are goin down yo yo. we be workin da roof yo and we gettin paid for ittt.. Me and mah buds be cruisin in da hood while the moon is pumpin' and da sun tis sleepin yo. chaaaa weeee be show stoppin wit my pimpin rockin slice of deli chopped ham..get crunk...me and my momma be buyin sum new baggin gansta pants for mah chingin wing-wong yo. and mah bros be hoeing da lawwne fo mah pops. yo diggy diggity dawg we be chowin donn on da trippin swingin hoppin slappin ballin 5 dolla foot long... wen me n' mah hoes are in da mood fo sum grubbin r'freshment. we be changin the pokin hock-horrs on the corna pub yo. yo. yo. we in da club pluggin n' groovin n' purrin n' gettin down to dis jammin jiggin poppin bouncin slammin pumpin quackin pluckin tune yo. Wif mah bustin' chick in mah limmooo yo. yo and wen we gets to mah crankin loft we bes jankin' downn 2 dis' fringin moho sho. Pingin chainssss be hangin loooooowwwww on mah hawtttt kakker bag pantss yo. while we be junkin n' rappin n' linkin n' wumpin n' trumpin n' shlumpin n' grumpin n' blunkin n' twinklin', we be flashin and bashin' and slashin' n' crashin our blingage yoho. yoyo. yoblow. yocrunk.... since we be slicin dis crib n' squattin dis nail salon we be makin money.. we make it hail.. n' rain.. n' snow...get crunk.

BLLLAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG.. is wat we liv fo yo. gimme sum uh dat BLLLAAAAANNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!! hoe yah!!!!! we be burnin up dis club we in cuz we be kickin it wif mah homies n' sum uh dis frangin BLLLAAAAANNNNNGGGG!!!! veronica is mah pimpin ho who is bustin a sweet move wif my bringgin jig. gagginnnnn' we be gagggin' wif chunks o' fro in mah soupin lops. we be grungin' n' grapin wif our grillz n our flickin floppin fridgin flupin backwerds hats. n we be diggin dese toe socks yo.

-----yours truly,
Lil' Aussie Rhymes & Sniggetyswankerbebis busta jam.

My March Madness

My interest in the NCAA tournament is lukewarm at best. I've never been much of a basketball fan.

But, my daughter Bebis, her school's point guard, has really turned that around for me.

You see, Bebis has some mad skilz on a basketball court. She is almost always the fastest girl on the court as she can dribble through an entire team and still can catch up to a fast break going the other way even if the girl has a twenty foot head start on her. She plays tenacious defense and plays so unselfishly, she is just as likely to make a last minute dish to a teammate than putting up her own shot.

Last night, Bebis led her team to a 22-20 last minute victory. She went 4 of 6 from the field and 3 of 5 from the free throw line. She also assisted on 4 other baskets.

With 40 seconds left to play, Bebis dribbled through four defenders on the other team and dished the ball to a wide open teammate for the winning basket. Damn, I'm so proud of her.

Bebis is only 13 and should do some damage when she gets to high school, assuming that my constant harrassment will result in her finally practicing free throws. Who knows, maybe we'll eventually see her in the NCAA women's tourney. Only time will tell.

Bebis rocks!

Happy Easter!

Thanks to my sis Kreeshka for sending this little Easter nugget!

All the Easter bunny left me was a case of poison ivy on top of the influenza I just got over last week.

Holy crap, I think I'm ready for the Elmer's factory.

Anyway, seeing the bunny get his makes my itching a lot more tolerable.

Happy Easter, my peeps!

Happy Holiday!

Here's hoping that your sweetie gives as much effort to this companion holiday that you gave on Valentine's Day!

God, does it get any better than this?

Pimpin' Ain't Easy: Spitzer-style!

You're the Governor of New York and you pretty much got there by being a unfeeling bastard of a pit bull prosecuting attorney. You dragged just about everyone you went after through the mud and made more enemies than Satan. Multitudes of New York politicians and businessmen would probably give their left arms to see your ass busted down.


How exactly do you think you could possibly get away with wiring cash to a shell corporation running a prostitution ring and transporting your ho's across states for a little action on the side because Silda hasn't been giving it up lately? How full of yourself and your power do you have to be?


Apparently, there is a huge shortage of brains and a massive supply of cajones. Looking at the guy, I would have never guessed he had it in him. I guess his Napoleonic ego begged to differ.

Which leaves me with one last question as I watched his wife stand by his side.


From a wife's perspective, Is it more acceptable for your husband to pay a hooker $5400 for a tryst from time to time than find out that he's been having an affair with an acquantance or an intern?

Bluey's World Hijacked by The Mucous!

Well, it seems that either God or the ghost of Myron Cope, struck down Bluey with Influenza last week, hence his absence from this page.

"Yeah Bitches! Party time in Bluey's World!", said one particularly large and nasty luger hocked up from Bluey's lungs late yesterday.

Order has seemingly been restored and Bluey's manic vitriol should return shortly.

The "Democratic" Party Is A Sham!

First, they have superdelegates, whose vote counts as much or more than entire districts of citizens and then, they arbitrarily choose to exclude another 5+ million people because two states (Florida and Michigan) wanted to vote earlier in the process, when their votes actually count.

Are dems that stupid, that they can't figure out that losing the massive amounts of delegates (366) in Michigan and Florida, would make it very difficult to tease out a winner in a close race? It sounds like they probably thought Hillary was a slam dunk.

And then on top of that, they split the delegates in each state by popular vote, which is utter nonsense. If you're going to go by popular vote, then have everyone vote on a national primary day and let the winner take all. I always thought the primary system discounted the wishes of those states voting later in the process. Does punishing the fine citizens of Michigan and Florida for wanting to take an equal part in the process make any sense to anyone?

But the party that is supposedly for the "people", will eventually have the elite in the democratic party choose their candidate, while ignoring countless millions of democrats. Not that I really give a crap one way or the other, I'm a Republican, but I do find it very amusing.

While both candidates are pretty much mirror images of each other, it probably makes no difference who wins. At this point, it is a battle over who can promise tho most crazy social programs, turn tail in Iraq faster and fuck the rich and US businesses harder.

All the things that will make the US a great nation in their eyes.

The Economist: March1st-7th, 2008

Featured on the cover of this week's The Economist is none other than our own lovable, noted people person and portfolio manager, Poppinfresh.

I love this picture!

It reminds me of days when I would go into Poppinfresh's office and ask him if we could possibly pare or sell an energy stock.

I'd look up at him in his darkened bear cave of an office and he'd be feasting on light sweet crude oil like Pooh Bear with his honeypot.

He'd growl something indecipherable to me and I'd walk out and be glad just to leave with my life.

"Mmmmm...light sweet crude......."