Kari Lehtonen, Atlanta Thrashers' goaltender tried a new goaltening technique (see picture to right), in an effort to quell the New York Rangers potent offense.
The result? Kari is bleeding rectally after giving up 7 goals in Game 3 of the NHL's opening round of the Eastern Coference playoffs.
"Thankfully, Coach is letting me hide on the bench tonight", said a dejected Lehtonen.
Ilya Kovulchuk, Atlanta's premier forward described Lehtonen's demeanor in the locker room. "He was pretty down. I tried my best to score goals without my stick and my gloves off while fighting Sean Avery, but somehow I just couldn't get the puck in the net or backcheck".
"I'm fat and old and well worth the 1st, 2nd and 3rd round picks that Waddy gave up for me", said veteran Keith Tkachuk.
"Mommy!!! My vagina hurts and Marcel is kicking my ass!", girly boy Marian Hossa was overheard exclaiming.
Rumor has it, Johan Hedberg will be wearing a Depends undergarment under his equipment to hide the fact that he'll be shitting himself under the precision Ranger attack.
How long after tonight will Coach Hartley and GM Waddell keep their jobs? I'm guessing they both may be fired by tomorrow afternoon.
Gooooooooooo Rangers!!!!!!
1 comment:
Congrats to the Rangers..Atlanta should be ashamed of their effort. Hartley should never have started Hedberg in game 2. All that does is tell your starter that the coach has no confidence in you...they were done like dinner the moment he did that. The Pens stuck with Fluery and lost, but I'm glad they did. He got better and better as the series went along and will be even more ready next year when hoepfully the Pens are built to make a deep playoff run.
Rangers: Who would have thought that man whore (and Mafioso Originale property) Sean Avery would become the heart and soul of this team..I watched the Rangers play about a week before the trade, and they had all the charisma and passion of a dead fish. The difference he's made is telling. What a turnaround for him!!...going from one of the most despised players in the game last year who was labeled (rightfully) as a distraction in LA due to his inability to stop saying stupid things to the darling of NYC! Plus he's banging Elisha Cuthbert after trading up from a still hot Rachel Hunter. What a life!
(mike f)
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