4.23.2007

Are You Strong Enough To Shake My Hand?

Sheryl Crow has given nasty creedence to the Seinfeld line, "I don't have a square to spare".

Sheryl surmises that a brilliant idea to curb global warming includes limiting your use of toilet paper to one square after taking a dump. Although she did add the caveat that sometimes 2 or 3 squares could possibly be necessary in times of digestive distress. How mighty white of her.

Is she fucking kidding me? Last I checked, it was in Georgia Pacific and other companies best interests to replant their natural resources to insure having a prosperous future in the paper business. Sheryl makes some crazy argument that somehow deforestation is occurring due to us excessively wiping our asses.

In this world where the irresponsible use of paper products is rampant, is this necessarily the place to cut our paper use?

Do you really want those folks at the Jack-In-The-Box making hamburgers after using their mandated one square in the bathroom? Will people ever really shake hands again? It's always amazed me to see how many people leave the bathroom without washing their hands. Will this number decrease after decreasing their toilet paper supply? I wouldn't take that bet. Do we really want to go back to the unsanitary, diseased cholera days of yesteryear to curb global warming?

It's no wonder Lance Armstrong left her filthy ass.

Sheryl, do us a favor, shut the brain off and spare us of your "ideas" and stick to what you do best, obviously better than all the rest of us...wiping your ass. And for the love of God, please wash your hands before you sign autographs...yuch!

2 comments:

Ace said...

It never surprises me how many yuppies in hollywood get on the "green peace" bandwagon. (Look at me, I'm driving a hybrid car...to the airport to fly on my personal leer jet.) Here, I'm sending a big "fuck you" to hollywood! And I totally hear you on the people not washing their hands after using the rest room. Now I understand why Howard Stern and Howie Mandel are such germ-a-phobes. John Q Public and their proper hygenical habits are disgusting!
Just for her statement, I'll be sure to use a few extra "squares" to do my part. Hell, the only pollution she needs to worry about is the shit coming out her mouth! I think I have eye cancer now for reading this Bluey!! Thanks.

Anonymous said...

The title is the best part of this blog. Love it. Li

Bluey's World Merchandise