Is Ass Cancer Reversible?

Watching the NY Mets blow a 4 game series to the Filthadelpia Fillies, loaded up my colon with tumors like gumballs in a gumball machine. They basically pissed away a 7 game lead in the division in a span of five days as the Phils cut the Met lead to 2 games.

Then, the Mets swept the Braves and the Phils started losing.

And the Mets won the first two at Cincy for a 5 game win streak as the Phils fell 6 games behind again. I swear to God, this team is going to kill me before the season is over.

Dr. Pedro Martinez was able to excise a few tumors last night with a rusty butter knife but with a month to go, it can go either way.

This team is far better than any National League team and has the offense to rival any World Series opponent. But, I said the same thing last year and they lost to the goddamned Cardinals thanks to one Mr. David Wright.

C'mon guys, get you heads out of my ass and cure me already. 1986 was a long time ago.