I Propose New $5 Bills/Greeting Cards

Tay gets mad whenever I tell her that Valentine's Day is a made-up holiday perpetuated by greeting card/flower and jewelry companies to prey on women's relationship insecurities and to steal men's money.

The gist seems to be: the better the card, the bigger the gift, the more numerable the roses, the more love her man has for her. In fact, Valentine's Day, to me, seems like the best opportunity for a scoundrel to hoodwink his concubine for another year. Treat her like garbage for 355 days and then sweep in with the swag on February 14th and buy yourself another year.

Granted, that's a pretty cynical view but I really think that Valentine's day is a huge scam. You can make an argument that a man really gets little from this day except much anxiety over how his honey perceives his celebration of it. With that said, there has been a groundswell of support from men for Steak and a BJ day for men which is supposed to be a reciprocal holiday that grants men a nice steak dinner and a BJ from his honey to reward him for being such a wonderful partner.

But that's not even what I set out to talk about. Can someone tell me why a greeting card costs $5 in many stores? Nowhere else can you get so little value for $5 in cash. The average greeting card is probably worth about 10 cents and there was a time not long ago that you could get a nice card for a buck or two.
Now that they are $5 a pop, I propose that the US Treasury changes the five dollar bill in order to leave space on it for a greeting.

Face it. Wouldn't you much rather get a $5 bill from someone with a message on it than a $5 card that will be thrown away in a week, if not in five minutes after reading. Kids hate cards as well. Why do we bother? Let's put the rapists at Hallmark etc... out of business and stop the nonsense. Not to mention, we'd be saving countless trees.

Let's go back to making our own cards. Computers can pump one out in about a minute and it would be customized to fit your needs. But if you don't have the time, just write on a $5 bill and send it on to me. It's environmentally friendly and recycleable as I spend it. Hell, let's just create message space on all denominations and put greeting card companies out of business for good.

Plus, how funny would it be to read other people's greeting cards or to see if you actually get back one of your own card ten years later?