1.12.2007

Snakes On A Plane Doesn't Frighten Me!

However, Bitches On A Cellphone scares the bejesus out of me.

On three occasions this past week, yentas yakking on cellphones while driving almost killed other vehicles in front of me on the road. God knows what is so fucking important that it can't wait until they get home.

In one car, there was a thirty-something woman in tears, apparently arguing with her boyfriend/husband while cutting off a car on the entrance lane of the highway. The other two consisted of women in their own fucking world, not paying a lick of intention to the road and drifting in and out of their lanes. One decided to get in the left lane to pass a truck. The only problem was that the bitch was doing about 58 miles per hour and cut off a minivan full of kids that was tooling along in the left lane doing about 65-70. Apparently, she never bothered to check her rear view mirrors before she decided to pass.

I see at least one of these incidents weekly and sure enough, every time I see a near accident, it turns out to be a bitch on a cellphone, who is so goddamn absorbed in her own life, she doesn't have any spare time to consider the safety of others. Now, I'm sure this article seems incredibly sexist and callous. But, the fuck if I care, I see what I see. Maybe men's cellphone use in cars affect their driving less, how the hell do I know? The truth is that almost every time I see a moron swerving in lanes or cutting someone off or driving too slow to be safe, it turns out to be a chick on a cellphone.

Obviously, the bigger picture is that cell phone use should be banned on the roads but I'm calling a spade a spade. Every once in a while, I do see an unsafe male driver on the cell but the clear majority is perpetrated by women, who seemingly get so involved in their conversations, that they cease paying attention to the road whatsoever.

God, I wish I had a cowcatcher on the front of my Durango. I'd plow these bitches right off the road. They shouldn't be driving anyway. They should be home pregnant, preparing dinner for their man and wearing sexy underwear or preferably a NY Rangers jersey and nothing else.

Now how's that for sexist?

2 comments:

Kozaa said...

Absolutely sexist, can't believe you'd come to blame women alone. We'd see majority of drivers-cellphone-talkers being men, if you could multitask in the first place, chauvinistic amoebas.

Toodles, couldn't resist,
Kozaa

Bluey said...

Maybe I'm going to have to rethink my stand. I saw a retarded guy driving 52mph in the left lane of a busy highway the other day.

Perched up on his steering wheel was a blackberry. He had no idea that a line of 6-8 cars were trying to pass him. He was happily typing away until people started beeping at him.

If I was a cop, I'd be pistol whipping these assholes. What they really deserve is a bullet to the brain but that might actually be too difficult a shot.

I heard the other day, that NYC was thinking of banning pedestrians from crossing the street while talking on a cellphone or listening to the Ipod. I think this is a little extreme.

The way I look at it, if these peiople are being killed by their own stupidity, so be it. The more retards we cull out of this world the better.

Let's focus on banning cellphones from drivers in all states already. These people (grudgingly acknowledging both sexes at fault) are a fucking menace.

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