Congratulations...Now You're Fat And Stupid!

I tuned into this show about six weeks ago or so as I was channel surfing and became quite intrigued by it. I promised myself that I would try to watch it but was not overly successful in doing so.

During the first week I saw, I got to watch a bunch of fatties cry about how "they are trying to stay healthy so they can stay alive for their kids". The whole cast started crying at one time or another about this. Of course, being the most sympathetic fat person, I imitated them by crying that "I have to stay alive for my kids", whilst shoving an imaginary twinkie down my gullet for my audience, Poppinfresh and Erie. But apart from the blubbering, the show is actually interesting when you see all the pounds that these people shed. The couple of times I watched it, I was amazed to see the total transformation of a human being before my eyes.

And then the show got real stupid.

Whereas, you'd think that the show would actually reward the biggest "losers", the show "a la Survivor", actually encourages the least successful fatties to kick off the "biggest threat" hard working ones.

The show basically creates two teams of chubs and uses a percentage lost system to decide which team has to vote someone to go home. In the beginning, this usually (and correctly) consisted of the person who dropped the smallest percentage of weight. Now as the show is dwindling down, I think that hypoglycemia is kicking in and making these people retarded. The one team is basing their vote on sex (gals against the guys). They keep a smaller weight loss sow on their squad and send their stud hog home.

In a game where you are eliminated based on total percentage lost, does it make sense to jettison your "biggest losers", knowing full well that you're just dooming yourself to sending someone home the following week as well?

And doesn't the game want to really protect the "biggest losers"?

Apparently not. So, from here on in, it'll basically be a pissing match between annoying and back stabbing orcas who have no sense of what they are really there for. I think that if that's the way the show is supposed to go, then let's make it real interesting. I think that the winning team each week should get a food item to plant in the dormitory of the other team, to tempt them into falling off the wagon. Why not? If the real hardworking people have no shot to win, could we at least see the uninspired fatties gorge themselves on hidden Krispy Kremes moments before weigh in? It's not like it will cost them their spot if they are in a good alliance.

If this show is dead set on being a sham, then let's see it a full blown sham.

Hell, let's make the whole house (including furniture) edible a la a Gingerbread House. Let's give them round the clock availability to room service and food delivery. Hell, let's put the house between a McDonalds and a Taco Bell.

And forget about the voting. Let's just say that a physician verified coronary event determines who is eliminated.

Now, that's entertainment!