Sweet Creeping Jesus!

I can't even remember how long it has been since my Dolphins made the NFL playoffs. It seems like a whole 'nother lifetime ago.

Granted, there is a good chance that the Baltimore Ravens are going to kick their asses this weekend but give it up for the 'Fins anyway! A solid running game and defense...who'd a thunk they'd finally get wise and go back to what made them good all those years ago. I guess you can call it the "Marino Hangover".

As much as I think Dan was the best quarterback ever in the NFL, he played during a time the Dolphins abandoned the running game and when their defense couldn't stop a pack of girl scouts.

I Must Have Been A Good Boy This Year!

...because Santa brought me just what I wanted for Christmas! In fact, Santa spoiled me rotten this year.

For years I've been asking for the Stihl M290 Farm Boss chainsaw.

"You'll cut your leg off"

Drat, the unholy "you'll cut your (choose the appendage) off" thwarted me for years!

The conversation usually went something like this.

"Tay, we have a lot of fallen and dead trees on the property that need to be cleaned up"

"Yeah, I know"

"Well, if I had my own chainsaw, I could do it lickety split and we'd have more firewood for the wood burner."

"My Dad will come and take care of it. Besides, your a city boy and know nothing about chainsaws. The last thing I need is you cutting your leg off or killing yourself".

"C'mon Tay, your Dad lets me use his chainsaw all the time".

"Yeah, but that's supervised by my Dad and I know you...if you get your own chainsaw, you're going to want to take down trees and that's just way too dangerous. You'll eventually drop a tree on a car or the house god forbid...no you can forget about it!".

"But Tay, I watched the loggers on ESPN. I know how to do it now and I promise that I'll only take down the dead trees".

"Forget it"

...and thus it went as I harped on her for two years...until one day she asked me about chainsaws and I replied...

"I want the Stihl Farm Boss M290 with a side-access chain tensioner, IntelliCarb™ compensating carburetor, built-in winter-summer shutter for cold-weather operation, toolless filter caps and anti-vibration system designed to reduce fatigue."

Uh-oh, much like Ralphie in "A Christmas Story", I overplayed my hand...

"You'll cut your arm off!"

Until this Christmas, after opening all of the presents with the Peteys, Tay called me down to fill the woodburner. I went downstairs and saw Tay sitting down there on top of the woodpile. Sitting next to her, yeah, you guessed it...the Stihl Farm Boss!!!

Yup, I gots the most wonderful wife in the world that spoils me rotten.

Now, I'm off to see if I can lose 40 lbs the easy way!

Sweet Victory!!!

Blueys Hail Mary (15-1) 143, Flashes (13-3) 123.

15 consecutive wins after an opening day loss propelled the Hail Mary to their first WashPA FFL title. Hail Mary coach AJ Duhe raises the Lombardi trophy.

Regular season Co-MVPs: Clinton Portis/Brian Westbrook (~322pts)

Playoff MVP: Dallas Clark (37 pts in semis, 29 pts in Final)

...And Then There Were Two...

The WashPA FFL championship is set as its' two best teams outlasted their Round 1 playoff rivals. Bluey's Hail Mary ended Blicious' dream of an upset 146-102, while the Flashes easily handled the Gridiron Gladiators 186-131.

Bluey's Hail Mary (14-1) takes on Jimbo's Flashes (12-3) this weekend in a matchup for all the marbles and bragging rights for the year.

B and Francois will play a consolation game for third place.

Bluey's Favorite Java!

Okay, so I just started drinking coffee at the tender age of 41.

I can blame Poppinfresh for that, but that's not what this post is about.

It's about the best coffee ever made.

And before you 20 year coffee veterans start snickering to yourself about what an upstart coffee newbie can possibly know about coffee in less than a year, let me explain.

Well, first of all, let me propose my favorite coffee. It's Intelligensia's Zirikana, Rwanda.

And as my Father-in-Law says when he "borrows" my tools, "I'll tell you why..."

Well two reasons really:

Reason #1: Most coffee drinkers are poseurs. They really don't like coffee, they are just looking for a dessert drink like hot chocolate. They spoil the coffee flavors with milk, half and half, sugar, caramel, coffeemate, chocolate...you name it. A real coffee drinker drinks coffee black with nothing added. That's how I drink mine. I feel that to add anything to a cup of coffee takes away your right to provide commentary on coffee flavor. If you add anything, I'd argue that you really don't love coffee in the first place. I don't spoil my coffee with any additives whatsoever and can detect all the minimal nuances between the different brands/locations.

Which leads me to reason #2...

Reason #2: I have an extra sensory perception when it comes to coffee. Not can I only taste the different nuances and flavors between coffees, I can also taste the toils involved in harvesting the crop. I can taste the sweat and tears coming from the 12 year old boy who is forced to work 16 hours in the hot steaming sun picking the beans. I can taste his thirst as he works all day. I can taste the blood left on the beans from his raw hands stemming from his fingernails pulling away from his fingertips or his dried, cracked and brittle cuticles...

In some coffees, I can taste the death involved in the harvest in third world countries.

When I drink their coffee, the deaths and intense labor involved are celebrated, not ignored as it is by 99.8% other coffee drinkers in the world. I salute their efforts to provide me with such a wonderful product that I gladly pay $2.30 a cup for.

It kills me when I see others ruining thier coffee with what I consider "candy and/or whipped cream", as if somehow this cleanses the coffee's true origins and the hardship and pain involved in it's production.

When I see folks open their coffee lids at the "fixins" bar, I feel like that Indian who gets the McDonalds food thrown at my feet by thoughtless litterers.

A tear comes to my eye as I lament the forgotten fallen...as I raise my cup of java and pay my respect to my Rwandan/Nicaraguan/Guatemalan/etceteralan bretheren...

I Stole Your Money, Bitches!

Bernie Madoff, made off with potentially up to $50B in a ponzi scheme because of a few simple reasons.

#1: He had a well known name on Wall Street. People threw their money at him only because he managed so much of it. Don't do any research people, just trust the genius. It's like the run of the lemmings over a cliff. No-one was going to get fired for suggesting that they invest with Madoff because it was perceived to be a "safe choice". Well, with the utter non-transparency of the hedge fund, I don't understand how anyone could have performed the due diligence to make an educated decision on whether to hire him as a manager.

#2: He is Jewish. Right or wrong, it seems like Jews in all walks of life tend to mainly trust, promote or support other Jews to a fault. I guess they figure that a fellow Jew won't let them down. Lots of Jewish folks today are lamenting the loss of their life savings because of this foolish notion. Just because a person shares your background doesn't make them trustworthy. Hopefully, a big lesson will be learned here.

#3: He somehow convinced individuals, trusts and companies to place the majority to all of their funds all in one place (with him). How anyone can consider that a diversification policy is beyond me. Especially after the whole world watched the Enron fiasco. Anyone that put their whole life savings or entire trusts in Madoff's hands got just what they deserve.

Overall, it is very hard for me as a portfolio manager and equities analyst to feel too bad for a lot of folks out there who should have known better. How exactly does one place their life savings in an account in which they can't even see what they hold?

Unbelievable.

Expect his two sons to join him in jail soon. It is almost impossible for me to believe that with their positions they had no idea what was going on. In my position, I know everything my company holds in every account and I don't have a title like Chief Financial Officer.

Those two Madoff boys should be in jail as well, I cannot be convinced that they are innocent. They'd have to be borderline retarded for me to believe they had no knowledge of what Dad was doing. Dad is taking the fall to protect them. Expect them to be incarcerated shortly.

More Brainwashing Attempts By Unions!

This morning while watching the morning news, I saw a thirty second commercial spot villifying Walmart.

On the eve of the auto bailout news, the spot blamed Walmart for American losses of jobs, importation of questionable products from China and a host of other business evils and greed that are ruining US business.

Then I thought to myself...who the hell paid for that ad to basically dress down Walmart?

The answer...the unions...

The fucking evil unions that are ruining this country. The unions that chased steel out of Pittsburgh, the same union that will bankrupt Detroit's auto industry and the same unions that will bilk their members out of money to pay for the corruption of our own government.

Christ...Walmart is one of the few places low to middle income folks can go to, to buy good products at nicely discounted prices. People who have a brain in their head realize that Walmart has a good business plan. Buy in volume at highly discounted prices, sell in volume at low margins and everybody makes out...the company and the consumer.

Unions are offended that Walmart's workers aren't unionized. Therefore, they don't have any power over Walmart. Believe me, that eats into their craw. Let me let you in on a secret. I used to be a member of the Foodworkers Union when I was a young unskilled laborer. Most non management jobs at Walmart aren't supposed to be careers. Walmart doesn't believe in paying unskilled knuckle-draggers (believe me, we were all there at one time!) $20/hr and full medical benefits. Therefore, they can pass savings on to consumers and it is a win-win situation.

Unions don't seem to get that the time for unskilled laborers getting "as much as the unions can hold companies hostage for" is over.

So, what are they doing now? They are wasting their members hard earned cash on a propaganda campaign aimed to try to re-establish their fallacy that they are the only thing standing between "evil corporations who want you to be in poverty" and your personal wealth and happiness. They are using up every possible favor in the Democratic party to get an auto bailout and at best all it seems that they will get is a three month bandaid, which is a colossal waste of money.

Let's face it...this once noble institution of unions is on life support. Their corruption and greed is to blame for their own demise. They used their members dues and political power to wield votes to influence politicians for too many years and the time has come to pay the piper.

That Walmart ad is a sign of desperation. The end is coming.

Thank Jesus!

Lucky 13!

Bluey's Hail Mary (13-1) wrapped up the WashPA FFL regular season title with its' 13th consecutive victory this past weekend, a 163-118 decision over Classy.

Playoff seeds: Blicious (7-7, #4 seed) at Bluey's Hail Mary (13-1, #1 seed)
Gridiron Gladiators (8-6, #3 seed) at Flashes (11-3, #2 seed)

Sloppy Seconds Anyone?

At the risk of upsetting Tay, I'll take a plate of these sloppy seconds in a heartbeat!!!


Apparently, yesterday, NHLer Sean Avery tried to get fellow NHLer Dion Phaneuf off his game by referring to his old girlfriend, actress Elisha Cuthbert, who Phaneuf is currently dating as "his sloppy 2nds".



The NHL is looking into suspending Avery, which is total nonsense.



Dude, I'd take Avery's "sloppy seconds" any day of the week including the aging Alyssa Milano or Rachel Hunter. That guy has dated some smoking hot chicks!


Okay, pig time over...coming honey!!!!!

Bluey's First Bambi!

On Monday, at 42 years of age, I got my first buck. Of course, this was my first buck hunt.

And, no, I won't be putting on any clinics in hunting. Fourteen, yes that's 14 bullets later, I got my buck...

The two bucks I shot at, stood out in the field posing carelessly and were mocking me while I fired 7 shots at each. Neither seemed in a hurry to get going anywhere or had any other pressing engagements.

Or maybe they felt that if they had to have a hunter shooting at them, I was their man!


Well, maybe closing my eyes on the last shot was what did it (I'm kidding) as now I have tons on venison in the freezer!!!

Bluey's Hail Mary 118, Birdmen 80

The Hail Mary won it's 12th in a row (12-1) and now sit perched above the WashPA Fantasy Football League thanks to a Blicious (6-7) upset of the Flashes (11-2).

With only one regular season game remaining vrs Classy, the Mary have the inside track at the #1 seed in the playoffs. Five teams are vying for the two remaining playoff spots in a hotly contested final week.

Big Surprise! Rosie Live Cancelled!

Oops, I guess I'm not going to get a 70's style variety show brought to us by a big fat headed annoying loud-mouthed liberal...

Jeez, her show was cancelled after one show? I'm actually surprised it went that long. I guess they couldn't find a hook big enough to get her fat ass off the stage.

I guess The View, with her other retarded accomplices turned out to be the best of what's left for her. Maybe Bawbwa Wawa and Whoopdi Fuckin' Doo can find it in their hearts to take her back. I wouldn't hold my breath on that one either.

The death of a career doesn't smell like teen spirit, it smells like rotting water buffalo.