The Question

I had a date yesterday and of course since we've both been married before, eventually you have to share war stories of past relationships.

In the midst of the date, I recalled one of my more amusing anecdotes that I love to tell about my married days. And it goes like this:

One day, after coming home late from my second job and getting my children (2,1 at the time) to sleep, I was sitting on the bed, putting on a pair of sweatpants and waiting for my wife of 7 years (at the time) to come out of the bathroom. I heard the door open and my wife walks in with a very distraught face.

She says, "Bluey, I want to ask you something and I want you to be honest with me."

I'm like, holy fuck, what did I do this time? Her tone seemed to me to be the most grave I ever heard from her.

I said, "Sure honey. What's wrong?"

"I don't know how to ask you this question"

"Just ask me, honey"

And after some hemming and hawing...

"Is your Father in the mafia?" she blurts out sheepishly.

I start to laugh.

"Don't laugh at me!"

As my laughter subsides, I say, "Let me try to understand this...We've been together for ten years. We've had 2 children and have been married for seven years. And NOW, you finally decide to ask if my father is in the mafia?"

Her eyebrows raise, her mouth opens and I continue, "No, my dad is not in the mafia. He works two full time jobs, one hauling garbage for the NYC sanitation department and the other hauling cases of beer for the local distributor. I hardly think he does those jobs as an elaborate cover for any position in the mafia."

She is relieved.

I wonder if I will ever be asked a funnier question in my life.