"Tay, Will You Marry Me?"

Today, Tay, the girls and I went for a family walk through the woods to a scenic field on top of her Dad's farm overlooking the valley.

I let the girls know earlier the true purpose of this walk, except for Kitty, who was baking with Tay most of the day.

As we neared the top, we stood and took in the breathtaking view on a brisk sunny Sunday afternoon. I turned to Tay and said:

"What a beautiful day. You know what would make this day so much better?"


I dropped to a knee. "Tay, will you marry me?"

Tay cries for about 2 minutes, then realizes that she hasn't answered me.


"Yes, of course I will!"

Tay cries for another 5 minutes and Tay, Aussie, Loni, Bebis, Kitty and I form one big pack for a group hug and kisses.

Then the girls proceed to dog pile on top of us and start rolling down the hill in celebration.

Aussie snapped a picture of the moment and I will post it soon.

So to all my friends and family, we're engaged!


Triple Cow Office Chair

My company is in the process of moving to a new location. We are all getting new chairs courtesy of Poppinfresh. However, whilst everyone is ordering new leather desk chairs, Erie is pushing for Poppinfresh and as many others she can convince, to get "Pleather" (fake leather) chairs.

When she came into my office to plead her case, she wrote "Save the Cows" on my whiteboard and drew a cowhead.

I told her that I wanted a "triple cow chair".

She asked "What's that?"

"It's a leather chair that three cows had to be sacrificed for to make", I replied.

I then added to her drawing to illustrate how I wanted my finished product to look.

Hence, the triple cow office chair! Of course, the other two heads either ended up in the landfill or could be used as bookends in Poppinfresh's bookcase. I haven't decided yet.


Yabba Dabba Doo! Hail Mary 157, Flavorfools 74

AP: Bedrock, PA:

Bluey's Hail Mary was able to right the ship as Peyton Manning led the troops to a much needed victory in Bedrock versus Freddie's Fools. Flavorfool coach, Mr. Slate called his team's performance disappointing and cancelled tomorrow's scheduled day off. He said that his "soft" team would be putting time in his rock quarry to get in shape for next week.

The Hail Mary improves to 4-3 and now trail division co-leader Warriors and Birdmen (both 5-2) by one game. Four teams, including 4-3 Blicious are vying for the Northern Division's two playoff spots.

Next up on the slate are the Donkeypunchers.


Heads Roll! Hail Mary Sends Jacobs Packing!

After Monday nights' fiasco involving RB Brandon Jacobs' sore vagina on the sidelines, Bluey's Hail Mary GM, Special Ed went into a spittle spraying rage and sent Jacobs candy-ass to ProDonor in a package that brought WR Reggie Wayne.

Even 40pt scorer Wes Welker was caught in the crossfire when he complained about Special Ed getting goop on his game ball. Wes and Donte Stallworth were throw-ins in the deal.

Third party sources involved tell a story of Hail Mary coach, Don Shula, telling Jacobs that the team was 16 yards shy of victory and to "get his fat lazy ass back in the game!". When Jacobs refused, his fate was sealed. Special Ed came screaming into the locker room with a tube of Vagisil after the game to yell at Jacobs, informing him not to expect to be wearing his uniform next week. As Welker walked by the scene, some Vagisil got mistakenly squirted on his game ball and as he started to complain, a scuffle ensued between Special Ed and Welker. Stallworth unfortunately came between them.

The Hail Mary (3-3) are clearly in disarray after their heartbreaking loss to Blicious. Morale is low and management felt a sledgehammer was the best way to bring about a change in attitude in the locker room.

Reggie Wayne comes in to be the Hail Mary WR3, behind Chad Johnson and TJ Houshmandzadeh. New QB Peyton Manning was ecstatic to hear the news of being reunited with his former receiver.

Week 7's match-up against the Flavorfools is critical. A loss pretty much dooms the franchise's inaugural season.


Clash Of The Titans: Blicious 189, Hail Mary 184.

What a matchup! Our two squads finish 1-2 for the week but the Hail Mary are unfortunate enough to run into the steamroller that was Blicious.

Brandon Jacobs shit his pants, needing only 18 points to carry the Hail Mary to victory on Monday night, he exited the game late in the 3rd quarter with a sissy sprained ankle, 16 yards short.

Bluey's Hail Mary experiment falls to 3-3 and Peyton Manning makes his Hail Mary debut against the Flavorfools this coming weekend. It's early, but I'd call it a must win game versus Flav owner, Freddie Flinstone.

Bow Chicka Bow Wow

Remember the Brady Bunch? Remember this song from childhood?

Homo we go,
Les' be on our way.
I love you, you love me
that's homosexuality!

There's a story today running that Marcia Brady (Maureen McCormick) has a new book out today that will touch on some very Brady girl-on-girl action.

If loving you is wrong....

I don't want to be right...


Black and Bluey Durango

I bought a companion used Black 2007 Durango to go with my White 2004 Durango.

I guess you can say that my 2004 Durango was lonely and wanted some lovin'.

Or you could say that with Tay and our four daughters, we finally outgrew the Durango without the third seat.

I actually splurged for a vehicle with 4WD, so now I won't spin tires up tay's driveway or worry about dying in Western PA's snowbelts.

It's main purpose will be winter driving and carting around my five peteys. We've already come up with an idea for the license plate.



Bluey Drives The Herd!

This past Sunday, I was pulled away from the Dallas-New England game to help herd about 50 or so cattle from Tay and her Dad's property back into the neighbor's pasture.

"The neighbor's cattle broke through the fence and are on Dad's property"

"Really? Did someone call him?

"C'mon, get up. We're going to help dad herd the cattle back onto the neighbor's property."

"What? You're kidding right?"

"No, c'mon"

"I ain't no fucking cattle shepherd. I'm from New York City. I don't want to be trampled by cattle"

"C'mon, we'll use the quads and baseball bats to herd them."

"What?......I'm not slamming some cow with a bat! They'll charge and trample me!"

"Will you get up already!"

"Are you serious? They're not even your dad's cattle. Let someone else die for the neighbors' cows."

"C'mon already!"


And so began Bluey's first experience herding Texas Longhorn cattle using multiple quads, as Stacey worked the gates and her dad and I rode quads like horses and were able to herd about 10 or so cattle back onto the neighbors pasture. Thank God I didn't have to use baseball bats but I was worried at one point when Tay's Dad was herding them towards me and I had to guide them to the gate on the quad. I had visions of getting flipped off the quad and gored right in the ass by a few big bulls.

The other 40 cattle proved too stupid to return to their pasture as they streamed by their gate with our last ditch effort. We left the rest for more experienced hands than mine.

And I was able to escape with only one asshole thankfully, but I got my first experience "riding the herd".

Get em up, move 'em out...Rawhide!


Manning A Mary!

AP: Skeevemont, PA:

Bluey's Hail Mary GM, Special Ed pulled off the coup of the trading season by securing the rights of Peyton Manning from JusticeLeagueNow. Peyton will replace former Hail Mary quarterback Phillip Rivers as the new starter. Also included in the deal was Jerricho Cotchery and Marvin Harrison.

Hail Mary coach, Don Shula, expects nothing short of a championship from his new field general. The Hail Mary (3-2) are currently in a four way tie for second place in their division which finds every team sporting over a .500 winning percentage.

Current Hail Mary Roster:
QB Peyton Manning/Jay Cutler/Jason Campbell
RB1 Larry Johnson
RB2 Adrian Peterson/Brandon Jacobs/Maurice Jones-Drew/Ladel Betts
WR1 Chad Johnson
WR2 TJ Houshmandzadeh
WR3 Brandon Marshall/Wes Welker
TE Owen Daniels/Greg Olsen
K Nick Folk
D/ST New England Patriots


Bluey's Hail Mary 118, Birdmen of Alcatraz 106

AP: Alcatraz, CA:

The Hail Mary (3-2) got back in the win column by defeating the Birdmen in a hotly contested game played in the home team's prison yard.

After slugging it out all day Sunday afternoon, it came down to kickers to decide the result. The Hail Mary's Nick Folk outkicked Birdman Robby Gould to seal the victory.

Next up: Ohhhh Blicious!


2007 Fall Pilgrimage: Here Comes The Sun!

During the Spring 2007 pilgrimage, we were unable to field many outdoor activities due to the horribly cold and rainy weather. It rained almost nonstop the whole weekend.

This Fall Pilgrimage more than made up for it as we enjoyed the beautiful 80 degree weather by relaxing beachside, doing some kayaking and getting some swimming in!

Contrary to Las Vegas oddsmakers, Halo 3 did not ruin the pilgrimage, as surprisingly, a very minimal amount of the game was played.

Friday afternoon's golf event saw a nail biting finish as The Don (51) successfully defended his championship edging Sparrow by a stroke, Bluey by 3 and the Handyman by 4. The scores were uncharacteristically atrocious and represented the first time a score in the 50's won the event.

Saturday's Softball event saw the Genuises (Sparrow, Este, Poppinfresh, The Don, rent-a-tard Karlos and Bluey) dominate the SRU Tards (Meersky, Irish, Handyman, Special Ed, Francois and Choder) in a mercy rule shortened 4 inning game, 17-2. Genius hitters were unmerciful as every starter, save Bluey, pounded out at least 5 hits. Este had clutch RBIs just about every trip at bat. Poppinfesh picked up the win, pitching the first inning and Bluey recorded the save, mopping up the final three frames in relief.

Axis and Allies was won by the Allies (Meersky-Russia, Handyman-US, Francois-Britain) over the Irish Nazis (Highmark as Hitler and Irish as Japan).

I missed the Stones and Texas Hold'em tournaments due to painful cramped calf muscles caused by horsing around with the football and the frisbee in Lake Erie with the guys. Someone, please forward the winners, so I can post them for posterity.

Horseshoes were cancelled because everyone feared the Handyman/Bluey connection. We will now go down in Pilgrimage lore as the third tandem to hold the Horseshoe title for at least 1 and a half years while ending their reign undefeated (Meersky/TDog, Meersky/Bluey previously). Handy's miss next Spring will probably end our title run.

Jen was also called multiple times by pilgrimagers which makes any future appearance by Handyman tenuous at best.

All in all, a very relaxing pilgrimage. The nice weather was a great change of pace. For those I missed on Sunday morning, thanks for a wonderful weekend!


Warriors 150, Bluey's Hail Mary 119

The Hail Mary shit the bed this past weekend as their rivals, the Ass Pirates, er...I mean the Warriors came out to play, disposing of Bluey's squad by a score of 150-119.

The Hail Mary return to par at 2-2 on the season. Next up, the Birdmen of Alcatraz.


Mets Are A Bunch Of Choking Pigs!

How the hell do you blow a 7 game lead with 17 games to play? Obviously, we got a lesson by the Mets since no one seemed to be able to do it in over 110 years of baseball history.

Shitty starting pitching, crappy hitting, atrocious defense and a manager who is unwilling to dress down his team all added up to the most pathetic finish to a season ever. Do you think the 1962 Mets could have held that lead? I'm thinking that they would have had just as good a chance.

I'm glad the team didn't can Randolph, I like him. But a lot of the faces on this team better change come next spring. I'm thinking most of their middle relief should go except Sosa, the injured Duaner Sanchez and Feliciano. I'd even trade Wagner if I could. Shoenweiss, Heilman and Mota, I'd send out on a rocket.

I'd also ditch Green and let Gomez and Milledge battle out RF. Can Valentin as well. I'm also pretty tired of trotting Glavine out there. Keep Maine and Perez and build the rest of the rotation from scratch.

The 2007 Mets go on the list of things that give me ass cancer.

Bluey's World Merchandise