Every once in a while, the staff of the Wall Street Journal show that they are not entirely stuffy and do have a sense of humor.
Last March, they ran one of my all-time favorite articles concerning "the grand sport of rock-paper-scissors". The article documented the pissing match between an upstart U.S.A Rock-Paper-Scissors league started by Hollywood producers and supported by Bud Light girls in local watering holes and the Toronto-based World RPS Society which has proclaimed itself as caretaker and the sole recognized "governing body of the sport".
I have included a link to the article but I think you need an online WSJ subscription to access the page.
Here are some of my favorite lines from the article:
For too long, adults who gather in clubs looking for competition have had only pool or darts to challenge them. Finally, there's a true sport where talent can be showcased.
The World and U.S. leagues agree that rock-paper-scissors is a game of strategy. "Selecting throws in advance helps prevent unconscious patterns from forming and can sometimes reduce the subconscious signals that give away the next throw," the World Society's Web site advises. Advanced players twitch fingers to confuse fist-watching foes, or delay unveiling a throw until the last possible instant.
The U.S. league asserts, "All cries of 'RPS is just random' disappear the moment one's opponent states, 'I dare you to open with rock, you sissy.'
The World Society describes two throws of scissors sandwiched around a paper as "an invasive and devious gambit." The U.S. league says a man who throws two papers then a rock has never kissed a girl.
The World Society deplores the U.S. league officiating as lax. "There doesn't seem to be any accountability or quality control," says Shawn Ring, 29, a World Society member in Philadelphia. At a recent U.S. league event, he claims a referee allowed a contestant to make a patently illegal vertical paper throw.
The U.S. league's Web site displays a video of the "Girls of RPS," scantily dressed women nicknamed Rock, Paper and Scissors, cavorting to pulsing music. The World Society posted a critique on its Web site saying the U.S. league had "chosen to go down that old tired and true route of hiring strippers for a cheese-fest" rather than celebrate women "who have actually played RPS.
The U.S. league shot back on its Web site that the World Society was sexist for implying that an attractive woman couldn't be good at rock-paper-scissors. "Brothers Graham and Doug Walker obviously know nothing of beautiful women, most likely because they've never actually spoken to one," the Web site declared.
Now, I've been playing RPS with my daughters for years and they are quite good at it, especially my 9 year old, Kitty. She regularly beats me in a two out of three game. Unfortunately, since I am a known Cheaty McCheaterson, I have made new hand signs to counter her traditional throws.
"El Diablo" (shown at top of article) is a throw in which, the devil splits rock, melts scissors and burns paper and is unbeatable.
I pretty much made it a habit to throw an assortment of hand gestures I continually make up such as "Crane", "Rake", "Gun", "Peace", "Loser" and many others in an attempt to cheat Kitty out of victory. I'd make confusing arguments as to what each was and why each beat her throw.
When Kitty got wise and started throwing El Diablo back at me, I countered with "Halo", which banishes El Diablo back to Hades. Unfortunately, Kitty argues that "Halo" is plugged by rock, covered by paper and cut by scissors. We're still continuing to argue that one out.
Needless to say, I think we should keep our alternative methods away from the prying ears of the World RPS Society, who would surely frown on our ammendments to the "grand game of rock, paper, scissors".
I'm just trying to figure out how to utilize "the Shocker" in a RPS game. For obvious reasons, I've refrained from throwing it in a game with my daughters.
URL for this article:http://online.wsj.com/article/SB114135380757088331.html
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