In one of my favorite "Futurama" episodes (Amazon Women In The Mood), Fry, Brannigan and Kif are sentenced to "death by snu-snu", where they are expected to sleep with all of the Amazon women until they suffer crushed pelvises and die. If life could only be so good.I don't know a man alive that wouldn't welcome that fate.
Alas, we end up going to the grave with our pelvises intact. What a rip. Death by sex seems like such a prefered method as opposed to death by much too infrequent sex, nagging and guilt trips which seemingly are the cornerstones of marriage.
Men are built to go anytime, anywhere 24/7. Women are very different. There seems to be a whole biorhythm thing at play where the stars have to line up just right for them to feel the same way a man does. One time I asked my ex if she ever got an overwhelming feeling to have sex right there and then. She said that once she woke up at 3am and was really horny but didn't want to wake me.
"Didn't want to wake me!!! Are you crazy!!", I told her. "Wake me right the fuck up!! I don't care when, where, how or why, just wake me right the fuck up"
.I guess it's just nature's cruel joke that we're built so differently.
Death by Snu-Snu. That is my Valentine's wish.
Epilogue: My favorite Zap Brannigan pickup line: "I think the most sensuous part of a woman's body................is the boobies"
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